h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Pallas flies overhead*

*And down below Shara the Summoner rests easily in the branches of a great oak which is twice as mighty as a regular oak and 100% more likely to vote for Nader. Shara happens to be a female Wood Elf which brings to mind all kinds of thoughts about green skin and clothes made of leaves. However, thats ridiculous. Leaf robes aren't the most sturdy of clothes and are no kind of cloths for a Summoner. Besides the fact that one fire spell would raise the rating from PG (for violence) to R for brief animated nudity and swearing. Being set on fire hurts. Also, I feel sorta uneasy playing as a female character even before you add in all kinds of things like easily burnt leaf dresses or the fact that standard female RPG fare is leather bikinis... Wait... What was I saying?

Anywho, Shara rested in the branches of a Nader voting Great Oak surveying the skies of her little neck of the woods with the Eagle Eyes that come as part of the package of being a Wood Elf. Which doesn't make any sense. Anthropological studies have shown that tribes of people that have adapted to living in forests have terrible long distance recognition due to the fact that living in areas that are crowded with trees discourage the development of Eagle Eye sort of vision. I'm getting off track again.

Anywho, Shara sees a speck flying overhead and due to her inexplicable Eagle Eye vision could see the speck was a Tiefling. The wings are a dead give away.*

Shara: What? A Tiefling? Oh, NIMBY (Not In My BackYard)!

*using her own eagle-eyes Pallas spots Shara*
*being a bigot she has nothing short of loathing for woodelves...and...in fact...everything that is not a tiefling...and then she still hates a lot of them...yea...she's got a thing about hating most living things...thusly...she's a necromancer...haha...I totally didn't mean to insert a pun there...it just kinda happened...anywho...*
*raises her arms*
*suddenly a large firey rock apears in the sky heading for the forest below...more specifically...it's headed there with the intention of destroying the forest and leaving it's inhabitant as a nice smear in the dirt*

*Upon seeing the giant flaming rock of doom Shara's eyes widen in shock and then narrow in determination. She whips out a book of spells and flips through some pages, rapidly erasing and refilling three pages worth of spells. Then Shara jumps out of the tree and lands nimbly on the forest floor and stands in readyness*

*glares down at Shara*
*Flies up above the range of arrows and pulls out her longbow*
*aims it at Shara*
*lets a bolt fly...as in arrow...*

*And suddenly a 8 foot Wall of Water materializes behind Shara and begins to crash through the forest soaking everything in its path, as well as destroying the usual things a 8 foot tidal wave destroys. Shara glares up at the speck in the sky and then disappears as the wave crashes over her*

<...you know...I'm pretty sure that's a stationary wall of water...but anywho...I still don't see how that'll help you...unless your gathering resources for a golem...which I don't think you need with the spells...I think that's only necissary for Alchemists...>

*The meteor is now very close to the ground and is causing shockwaves or something else that's exceedingly cool of the sort...*

*casts Lightning Bolt...electrifying the water*

*And suddenly a 8 foot tall, 50 m long Wall of Water materializes behind Shara in the path of Meteor rock flaming death thing. Shara glares up at the speck, sees a faster moving speck and then jumps backwards into the wall, swimming through it rapidly*

*the arrow strikes the ground about 2 feet behind where Shara was standing...well...if it hit at where she was standing I'd have missed her vitals...*
*The meteor strikes right infront of the base of the wall<it was aimed at you...you had to move to go into the water...anywho...*
*the impact shockwave causes a good chunk of the forest to be flatened, although a long line of trees are still standing, although the tops of them are lacking in the leaf department, because of the blocking power of the wall of water*
You haven't anywhere to hide now...

*water wall starts to do wavely thing due to approaching "not quite deep impact meteor." Shara gestures and a Water Spout shoots up from the ground all geyser like and creates a path of least resistance to the ground, neutralizing the lightning bolt. Shara dolphin leaps out of the water onto a tree and gestures. A thick mist covers the forest obscuring it from sight and making the environment wet and clammy*

<8->11->10>>

*suddenly the skies open up and a rain of freshwater carp begin to drop out of the sky above the forest(like a mass Summon Carp or something! Woo). Pallus gets the strangest feeling of loathing for some person named Rhanol (Or not. I shouldn't tell your character how she feels).*

*curses under her breath at the mist*

okay..fine...we'll play that way...

*lifts up her arm, around which is a lanard with a miniture book attached*
*mutters an encantation under her breath*
*the book enlarges to the size of a spellbook...mainly because...it is a spellbook*
*starts flipping through the pages*

*There is a splash somewhere as the battered Wall of Water loses its magical cohesion and flattens onto the forest floor*

*Under the cover of the magical mist Shara summons a being of living water, a Water Elemental. With the power of a flash flood and speed of a river and et cetera, et cetera*

*starts chanting an encantation*

*Shara then summons forth first one and than another fist sized wasps and then issues forth a short command. The wasps fly off into the mist. Shara then begins to move cautiously through the mist, the Water Elemental following a short distance behind*

*the encantation is nearly complete and Pallas uses her master sense to detect Shara's location and directs the spell to a short distance in front of her*
*rumblings can be heard as something rips itself from the ground <'tis a silver golem...but i'd assume you wouldn't be able to see it yet...although you'd definately know there was something there*

*the mist fades (a post or two ago actually. Huh) lending visiblity back to the forest. Shara sees the Silver Golem ripping its way out of the ground a short distance in front of her. She points at it and the golem is suddenly wrapped and entangled in strong spider webs*

*Shara whispers a quiet command to her elemental*

Destroy. *the Water Elemental flows up to the trapped Silver Golem and begin hammering at it with blows with the force of tidal waves... or fire hoses. The ones that police use on rioters. I dunno. This figurative language stuff is wearing me out man*

*being made of silver, the golem is resistent to the water*
*the golem fights against it's restraints*
*begins chanting another encantation*

*Shara utters another command unto her elemental (His name is Frank or perhaps Pacif)*

Restrain it. *the elemental ceases its mostly fruitless blows and instead attempts to hold it in place away from Shara*

*Shara pulls out her spellbook (from who knows where) and begins to flip through the pages as the silver golem struggles against its bonds*

*the Silver Golem dramatically breaks free from the spider webs*