h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When I get stroppy with ewif I call her a name that's a kind of non-insult. My favourites are "You mermaid!" "You rhombus!" and "You mop!". Anyone got any more?

The word Darling (with a sly smile), is sufficient most of the time!

This is going to sound awful but when my husband calls me a fat slag it always makes me laugh, but most of the time he doesn't refer to me as fat.

I tend to the peurile and childish... Poopy-pants-head, smelly-face, Wee-Wee head... You get the idea

My girlfriend tends to be a mook. So I call her a mook. The mook.

I tend to use gayface as a term of endearment.

We tend to call each other "nidiots".

"You're a nidiot"
"No, you're a nidiot"
etc...

RF

Bum eyes!
Elbow head!
Spanner magnet!
Plastic vicar!

http://www.weebls-stuff.com/wab/fishing/

Ha ha, spanner magnet and plastic vicar are great!

yoo noodle! is a favourite

I thought nidiot was more or less universal

I'm a nidiot and gnome istake

I've always felt dropping a steaming hot teaspoon down the butt crack says it all. This usually causes your partner turn around to you very quickly and sort of stretch out in surprise: now is the time to apply very, very cold hands to the stomach or breasts (from holding a snowballs all the way home from work).

But if it's insults you want 'Spaz hands' is good.

Or you can make very dirty comments and grunting noises at the sight/mention of anything even vaguely the same sex as your partner.

'go on, uuurgh, dirty bitch'

I prefer to use the song title of track 9 from Dirty Pretty Thing's album, Waterloo To Anywhere.

RF

Oh, so *you're* the one that has a copy.

Yup... thus justifying its listing as 5,482 sales rank on *m*zon.

Worth it though, if only for Deadwood.

RF

Hi, dogbreath

Bum unit

Useless git (always said with a smooch and a snuggle)

chocolate teapot


arse monkey

2legs once called me snake bottom after losing an insult game