h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: CAULD KAIL - A12015802
Author: langsandy - U4056622

I plead innocence - I can't help it -
I love the Chinese - they eat dogs do they not & I would rather feed the children than buy kibbles for a pet - so
there's enough rope to hang me [for those who believe in the death penalty]
- Harlaw is all I remember of Scottish history - enough said - Langsandy

hi
this piece is allright it confused me a bit but that could be because I have been , it suits the AWW very well, I was wondering is this a personel account or a piece of fiction?

Tom

Hi langsandy, I think this is a brilliant piece of original writing.It is well written and very very moving. The last part where you saw your mother moved me to tears. Thankyou so much for sharing it with me. Best wishes Sibford x

it is a personal account - thanks for your interest
- Langsandy

Hello & thanks for your interest - I'm a bit lost
for words - Langsandy

This is great storytelling.
The description is rich, and the narrative has a listlessness about it that gives it both pace and pathos.
Thanks for sharing it.

A word from Sule Skerry!

Thankyou for your comments - Langsandy

Langsandy, congratulations . This is to let you know that 'Cauld Kail' has been selected as a potential <./>underguide</.> entry.

You're new to h2g2, so I'll explain that this will entail a copy of the entry being made which will then be featured on h2g2's front page in the Underguide section. (Bottom, right hand corner, if you haven't spotted it.)

The copy is made by an UnderGuide Gem Polisher who will contact you about any final revisions or tweakings you might want or they might have to suggest.

Being selected for the UnderGuide also entails the site staff giving the entry the once-over from a BBC Editorial Policy point of view.

The reason I said 'Cauld Kail' was a potential selection is that they pointed out it contains an expletive which, though ok here, they are not happy with in a direct link from the front page.

I'm going to pass this over to the Polisher to go into further - I didn't notice anything when I first read this and haven't spotted it on skimming through again.

Anyway, congrats again, and thank you for the contribution here .

Thank you and by all means have it gentrified
by the editors - this is pretty exciting for me -
cheers - Langsandy

You're welcome. We've emailed the h2g2team to find out which word upset the BBC's new fangled profanity filter, having identified a possible two. We've also asked if it's really, really necessary because neither is used in an expletive way.

Before the filter was brought in, which wasn't designed for h2g2 but for all the BBC boards in general, there wouldn't have been a problem.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that in pieces of writing like this one, there'll be some flexibility.

Glad you're ok with the gentrifying though, if we have to, since that means Cauld Kail will get to the front page either way.

Waz

Thankyou Waz - I ask this of you for after rooting about in h2g2 this morning I can't find a rule concerning the maximum number of words allowable, this concern because I would like to float 2500 which might swamp the system - could you advise me on this - langsandy

[under the cliffs upon which the Coastguard Station looks out to sea just south of Girdleness, you can find at low tide, living aquariums, potholes, five foot across and eight foot deep, made by centuries of wave action swirling stones and full of all sorts of marine life] but
that was 60 years ago . . [oh didn't he ramble, didn't he ramble,
didn't he ramble all around, didn't he ramble roun' the town, didn't he ramble 'till the butchers cut him down] - old blues song

Answering the first part of your post - there isn't one stated, and there isn't one in practice.

The only time word numbers get considered is in the Edited Guide section of h2g2. Even there, there is no hard and fast rule. There have been very long entries, but the fact that those entries are visible on PDAs and mobile phone screens makes it an issue on occasion and I've seen 1500 mentioned.

Outside the Edited Guide, it's no problem. Ordinary unEdited entries and also UnderGuide entries are all outside the Edited Guide.


About the second part of your post - was that a taster? Because if so, please ramble on...

this opening, I suppose, is what you mean by 'taster' ?

Elspeth loved me despite what I had become, a salmon thrashing about in a seine that the crew was dragging out of the river, she in her gum boots ready to knock me on the head until she saw my eyes and cried, “No! No!” Then she was letting me go.
It had been the same the first time I was caught, when still in a state of disbelief I knew I had phased somehow from man to fish, just like that, the terror in me like a joy because I lived. But that look on her face had been there again. What was it about, not sorrow, not fear - more like shame - her “No! No!” telling me guilt was the cause of it.

“What the hell.” yelled Alastair, having seen Elspeth let loose a large, silver salmon.

tasters, trailers, starters, aperitif (if you're going gentrified). Or teasers. Now that there's two. Are they for the same main course?

Or bait perhaps? There's hooks in both. Not to mention in both.




Business: We've had the Editorial Decree from the Leaning Italics of the Towers of H2G2. And it's disappointing. For consistency, gentrification of both words is needed.

That's piss in 'When I saw an old trawlerman in his seaboots, dangerously balanced on a deck rail, the golden stream of his piss arcing in the sunlight to the sea below,...'

And arse in 'Meant to test the homeguard, it also served as a playground for boys like myself and a great place to have the arse torn out of your breeks.'

Personally I regret this very much as neither is expletive in context.

Do you have preferred alternatives, langsandy?

Waz

How odd, they don't fail the profanity filter. Perhaps there'll be a delayed filtering, Just in case the above post disappears, it was just an announcement of the staff decision on the expletives, quoting what they were.

If the post disappears, I'll come back and post an edited version.

Waz

i bow to the wisdom of my peers and bemoan the fact that
the clutches of the politically correct dig so deep - pity
for those words are proper english [quite Orwellian this
slide]

'Dreaming' is a short story of 2500 wrds - too long for h2g2
i think & quite strange - would probably arrive with a dull thud
- so cheers and thanks for the progress made - please feel free
to continue - ardea cinerus