h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I think I may have read Anne McC's books but to be honest I tend to forget the writers name remember the book. We are watching a thing on tv at the moment about a monk who lives in ancient Brtitain but manages to investigate and solve crime mysteries, as you say he is living in his modern time. By the way I love Harry Potter except I think her last book was just full of filling to make it the size of a brick.

I can imagine what the history books say about us. They will talk about us rolling leaves into white paper and then setting light to it and inhaling the smoke onto our lungs. They will tell of the learned doctors who warn us that we are killing ourselves doing this. They will be amazed that although we had warnings on this premade product that sold for so much money and was taxed by our government we often inhaled at many as 30 40 or even 60 per day.

The will be amazed that we made automobiles to reach wonderous speeds of 140 miles per hour but had such poor roads they never went beyond 10miles per hour in rush hour. Many people injested strong alcoholic beverages before being totally in charge of this one ton killing machine and they would do their best to drive it at great speeds even on roads where there maybe people or even animals.

They will look with horror at the wars that we allowed and the deaths of our young men that we watched again and again. They will shake their heads at the atrocities of country leaders who bought guns and bombs to kill instead of food and clean water for their people.

I hope they laugh at our stupidity of having such a beautiful world and our try at destroying it. I hope they laugh for by that time they will have put it all right.

Well, you are right it is amazing how much I can say when I have nothing to say. Thinking of you re D-day and the D will stand for Delight when you find there was nothing devistating. I always liked the Aussie soaps and this one will have a happy bit at the end.

Drifting in the doldrums, waiting for Godot, or God knows what. Funny how a man without religious beliefs can so often call upon the name of god in times of frustration. As an unfortunate golfer, my frequent imprecations to the distant deities, brought about by the spontaneous combustion of frustrated ambition do not hold any expectation of instant aid. I suppose it is a sort of conditioned reflex. Living in a society saturated by Christianity, some sort of osmotic effect must colour our souls to such an extent that any internal explosion blasts our surroundings with decorative damnations and bloody hells and Lord's names in vain.

Do you have the feeling that I am not in the best of moods today? Heaven forfend! (I have always wanted to use that phrase.) Admittedly my morose manner is a little exaggerated at the moment. The good thing about being down is that, eventually, you have to look up.

Did you read the joke about the wise man who when he walked into the stable to see the new born son of man hit his head on the ceiling of the stable. "Jesus Christ" he said.

Joseph looked at Mary "hey that's a good name much better than Cyril".

I too look at horror on the tv and hear myself saying my Mother who has been dead for years say "Sweet mother of Jesus"

I hope you are feeling better and have not quite exploded with frustration. Heaven forfend!! indeed.

I like that joke. It appeals to my irreverant sense of humour.
Speaking of irreverance, I reckon if those blokes who say they speak for God can call themselves Reverend, I ought to be able to call myself Irreverend. It would be good to have someone greet me with, "G'day Irreverend Lew, how ya goin'?"
As for the explosive expletive, it has to be spontaneous. You could not come out with 'Odds bods and little fishes' a la P.G.Wodehouse without sounding pretentious. So to be genuine we are stuck with curses that have been inculcated into our subconcious over many years.
Australians like to think themselves the originators of their slanguage but I rather feel that most of it came over with our U.K. forefathers. If I was to say that an elaborate curse was 'bunging it on a bit', would that be familiar to a Brit's ears? After all even Waltzing Matilda is sung to an old Scottish tune. And now our sheep-like younger generation would not be caught dead saying things like 'fair dinkum'. It is not the U.K. influence now, it is the U.S. Of course I no longer know how the kids talk among themselves now. In our new P.C. world I would probably be talked to by the authorities if I showed any interest in the youth scene.

That's enough! Ta for the good wishes.

"G'day Irreverend Lew, how ya doin?"

Tomorrow the 31st October is Halloween, a night when the ghosts are supposed to walk around, I dunno something like that, all the UK kids haven't a clue what it is all about and knock on the door yelling trick or treat any old night during the week leading up to it. In New York people used to give children poisoned candy or candy that had drugs in it but people still allow their kids to knock on doors and beg.

On 5th November we have Guy Fawkes day when all the little buggers have fire works and fires. During the month before Guy Fawkes day they are setting off fireworks all through the day and night driving me and the dog around the bend.

On the 25th December is Christmas Day when the Christians celebrate the birth of Christ since the beginning of September tv adverts and shops have all been telling us that we must have a new sofa, oven, vacuum cleaner or hearing aid to make our Christmas extra special this year. We are tempted with all kinds of goodies to spend huge amounts of money and then spend the next year getting out of debt as we oooops overspent at Christmas.

I would like to hibernate for winter just to miss all this malarky which is all so money grabbing and nasty.

Bunging it on is indeed very British and I do apologise for bunging it on you cos I am such a scrooge and hate all things Christmas, Halloween or Guy Fawkes.

Well the results are in and it is thumbs down. It seems I have cancer of the prostate and it is fairly aggressive. 7 on the Gleason scale. Next I have to have a C.T. scan and a bone scan to see if it has spread. So it will be another three weeks before I hear what comes next.There has been no talk of an operation as yet. I certainly do not want to have radical surgery.
A while ago I read of something called cellular zeolite Which is supposed to carry cancer cells out of the body. But of course it is American and costs a bit, and it sounds like another snake oil remedy. I'm a sucker for snake oil! But how would I feel if it really was as good as they claim and I did not give it a go. There are several zeolite producers in Oz but it is used as a filtering agent. I don't think anyone here makes the medical version. Perhaps you have heard of it in your travels. If you Google zeolite you will find it.
Anyway, I will have to wait for the scan results before I make any plans.
Not a very cheerful post but since the only difference between today and yesterday is that now I know where I stand, although I don't know as yet where I am going, or how long it will take to get there.
There are several blokes in the golf club who have been where I will go and they are still hacking around.

Just read your message and thinking of you in the most positive way.

My husband's family is one of those families where they all seem to get cancer. His gran had a breast removed at 90 she lived on and only just missed getting her telegram from the Queen for making a century. His mother also had cancer and had all her reproductive bits removed when she was 26 unable to have kids she adopted him and is now 78.

Don't know too much about the zeolite but came accross this site and wondered if you had seen it already.

www.saynotocancer.co.uk

have a look and I will keep on googling it ain't over till the fat lady sings and I don't sing.

This seems to explain stuff which you probably already know but it does not look as if your future is necessarily grim.

http://www.besttreatments.co.uk/btuk/conditions/4541.html

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he
suffered from bad breath.

This made him what?

A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis!

My joke for the day. Heard last night that I am a grandmother. My eldest son tells me my youngest son who I have not seen for about 16 years has a baby daughter. Feel really glad, sad and bad.

It seems a sad thing these days that 'nuclear families' seem more to resemble a nuclear explosion. In the thirties when my father got his first car, he would spend an occasional Sunday visiting his brothers and sisters who were scattered around the suburbs. My last surviving brother has lived in Queensland for many years and it has been a long long time since I have seen him. Now he is in such a sad state of health that there would be no point in my seeing him. To tell the truth I am not good at handling emotional situations.
Poor little Kanga was sick again last night. It's a worry!
One of my golf mates was telling me of something he had seen on the TV. It seems some bloke is making bread that is supposed to be good for prostate cancer. When I mentioned my interest in zeolite he said, "Oh yeah, that's what this bloke was putting in his bread." Maybe there is something in this snake oil stuff. I wish it was available locally.

I enjoyed the joke, but do you sometimes feel that some people have too much time on their hands?

Did you read my other messages? I came up with a couple of sites that talked about zeolite. It appears that it can be in liquid form and that is probably what they put into the bread. I will endevour to find out more for you.

It is OK Cookie, I have ordered the zeolite. It will take a couple of weeks to get here. I half expect to be disappointed by the stuff, but I can not pass up the chance to find out. There are so many people out to make money out of other people's problems that it is hard not to be suspicious, but there is an enormous amount of supporting literature. I think it is worth the investment.

Some of the claims seem extravagant to say the least. In fact, if you will excuse me saying so, it might be able to help with your weight problem. Hell, it might even help us win the lottery.

I am strangely calm about the cancer thing but I feel that nothing has changed except that now I know what is happening. It is as though now I don't have to be worried about being ambushed because the enemy has stood up to face me.

The next thing to do is a cat scan and a bone scan. That happens next Friday, then I wait two weeks to see the urologist to be told how bad it is and what are the options. A nuisance and an inconvenience but strangely interesting. With my Paruresis problem there will probably be many awkward moments in my future but I am becoming less concerned with what people think. What is, is!

By the way, Kanga is eating well again though she seems a little quieter and inward looking. But perhaps I am looking for trouble that isn't there.

Just been looking at the saynotocancer site and the zeolite there is around £120 for 4x15ml bottles and each bottle works out at 300 drops. Don't know how much you are paying. Feeling positive that it is going to help.

Once a thing is out of my sight it is hard for me to recall. I think I paid about $139 plus a $30 fee to become a distributor. Not that I want to be a distributor but apparently it was a condition of sale here in OZ. It is a bit early for me to say yet but it occurs to me that it could be a source of extra income for you. I think it has only been going for a year or two and is relatively unknown, so anybody hooking up with them would be getting on the ground floor. Perhaps.

I think I would be a little foolish to hope for a cancer cure (if I don't try I'll never know) but it might help the more conventional methods.

Did you ever go to the Poetry Conversation? I suppose if you are not interested in poetry it would be pretty boring. For me it is a bit of mental exercise and I get my ego stroked now and then. I feel a bit of a fraud sometimes as I do not always like or understand some of the entries. I know I am not stupid (my IQ has been checked for various reasons and I am above average)((actually I am above average in all ways except the one thing men like to be above average in)) but I have a feeling my intellectual quotient is not so hot.

You seem to be posting pretty late at night. I figure the UK is about nine hours behind us here, so five hours previous would make it about one am where you are. Glad you managed to fit it in but.

I cannot believe that my head is getting so empty, I thought I had replied to you and every day I was looking for you and was getting quite concerned that you were not there, finally I look and I must have written the reply and not sent it pressed the wrong button or some such crazy behaviour that funny elderly ladies get up to.

Well from memory which is not good I remember saying that I was rather like the little boy looking at the emperors new clothes, I always say what I think and sometimes it is not politically correct. For instance was I the only person who did not like Princess Di? I am readying the Da Vinci Code right now by Dan Brown and am finding it really a good who dunnit but that is about all, can't understand all the fuss, it is a novel for goodness sake.


I have tried to write poetry and when I am drunk have written some really emotionally wracked crap. I like comic poetry but as you say I don't always understand stuff and then forget to be polite and say things like "What's that all about then?" I am the same with art or fashion sometimes I look at things and think blimey what a load of rubbish.

As for the zeolite my husband is putting together a web site to find out a little more about this amazing thing. Years ago it was Korean Ging Seng which was the great healer, then Aloe Vera all sorts of amazing cures for all things have been there and the only people who win are the ones who sell them at outragious prices. Personally I couldn't live with myself if I was selling something as a cure and it did sod all.

I hope you are feeling well. Our winter is coming along nastily so hopefully your spring is doing well.

Sorry for the delay in talking to you but I must just put it down to me age or something like that.

I am relieved to find your silence was not due to some unknown offence caused by some careless phrase of mine.

Strangely enough you are not the only one to have a slightly critical opinion of Princess Di. I sometimes got a glare ot two for referring to her as an air-head. Not the brightest button in the boutique.

I will not be able to push zeolite on anyone until I have tried it myself. It definitely sounds too good to be true, but I think it is time something was as good as the sellers say. The world is sadly desperate for a little magic in their lives. Probably why Harry Potter is so popular.

You know, it is one of my regrets that I cannot allow myself to get drunk. It is the only time I become sufficiently uninhibited to be almost normal. And happy. Unfortunately it is only when I reach that stage that one more drink and I become violently sick for twenty four hours. At least. I really detest being nauseous. When I had the CT scan last Friday they injected some stuff in me and as I went under the machine the gorge started to rise. I felt a bit stupid, but they reassured me that they would not put anymore in me and the scan was completed. There was no reaction to the bone scan injection. Now I just have to wait for the results. I am not too hopeful as I have been having pains in the thighs and pelvic area for a while now. Someone once said that if you always expect the worst you can't be disappointed.
At least I wont have to decide what treatment to have straight away. In fact the literature advises careful consideration. If the cancer has spread I may have fewer options, but options there will be.

Here is a little poem by R L Stevenson...

Away with funeral music--set
The pipe to powerful lips--
The cup of life's for him that drinks,
And not for him that sips.

You could never say anything to offend me I have the skin like the rhino.

My dog has taken a liking to my slippers he tries to nip them when I walk and has just been caught burying one of them in the garden. I have stepped in squishy mud to get to it and he is in trouble big time.

Now where was I? thats right having a skin thick enough for a rhino, I am very outspoken and would tell you rather than just not communicate.

Great bit of poetry by the way good old Robert Louise wrote some great stuff.

I really don't know what to say about this cancer thing. I know I would rage and rage and scream obscenities to the great gods of fairness.

Lots of Brits did not like Princess Di, she was certainly one sandwich short of a picnic and probably had a mental health issue but hey that's the past.

Glad you have to keep sober,being drunk really is bad news. Yes you lose your inhibitions and feel happy but a real drunk can push those feelings away and become maudling and depressed, turning mole hills into mountains.

I am a little tired of Christmas already every advert is an advert telling me why I need to shop at a certain store to save money when I buy the world and his wife a gift.

Just looking on the internet and discovered POMEGRANATE JUICE lots of write ups about it but this piece was particularly interesting it is written by a firm in England who sell Californian Pomegrate Juice

The lastest research as published by the University of California
in the medical journal "CLINICAL CANCER RESEARCH" reported that pomegranate jice could dramatically increase the stability period of prostate cancer.

It will allow men over 65 years of age with prostate cancer the option of completing their normal life span without resorting to harsh medical treatment.

Go gram some pomegranate juice now it is also good for the heart.

I bet it tastes lousy!

I'll have a look around the shops. Probably the health food shop would be the best bet. I am already drinking Sir Jason Winters' herbal tea. Quite pleasant and quite expensive. He also makes large claims for this stuff.If you are interested you can find him on the internet. Easier than me trying to explain.
Unfortunately my tests have so far been gloomy. My PSA is 24 and the Gleason is 3-4=7. Until I find out whether it has spread I wont know if watchful waiting is the way to go. It is a strange state of being at the moment as I don't feel any different than I did before. I suppose if the cancer was visible I would be more depressed. Out of sight-out of mind works well with me. Out of mind most of the time anyway.
Australians have this mindless habit of greeting each other with 'G'day. How ya going.' I say mindless because it is automatic and an answer is not always expected. It has always annoyed me as 1. it makes me think about how I am going, which is not always a good thing, and 2. I know that if I told them how I was they would not really be interested. But now when some of the blokes in the golf club ask me, they do so with a penetrating stare that suggests they really want to know. I have spent a lifetime trying to be inconspicuous,(not easy when you are six foot one and fifteen stone) and being the focus of someone's interest makes me fidgety. I must admit that as I age I am becoming more at ease, as long as I have an escape route.

It is only a couple of weeks from the start of summer, and today is colder than midwinter. It has even snowed in some of the country areas. It is an interesting place to live. Sweaty one day, wetty next day. Four seasons in one day is not unusual. Love it! (except on Golf days.)