h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In the Bible it says in the Last Days there would be scoffers, saying where is the promiss of Christs return for is not all remains as it was in the days of our fathers and will do so for many days ahead. Or something to that order.

You decide for yourself. There's a lot more in the Bible that has relavence nowadays. You just have to know what to look for.

The thing is if Jesus did come back, he'd just be locked up in an asylum like all the other people claiming to the 'Second Coming'.






starts humming REM for some reason.

Well I don't think they would be able to do so. Not all Christians have mental disorders. What do I have to lose for me faith. What is the price for not having faith. You deside I know my decision.

The price for not having faith is the loss of unnecessary guilt and fear. What you lose for having faith is a high quality of life lived in accordance to the real world, and an ethos that has far more validity than the ramblings of a cult figure.

Revalations is a bad acid trip.

I say I've lost nothing of value. I enjoy my exsistance. I fear nothing.

You say you fear nothing, and yet, at the same time, you truly believe the world is going to end. Interesting. Of course, that whole bit about "all dem sinners is gonna git thar come-uppance!" must make you feel pretty good. And I'm sure you have that overweening arrogance that YOU are going to be one of the 144,000 saved that so characterizes apocalyptic Christians. If you were one of the chosen saved, then obviously you must be Jewish. Which tribe of Israel is your mother from?

Ah, but you've lost nothing of value. Value is, of course, a relative term. You don't value the one life you have. You only value the one you *think* you'll have later. Sounds pretty wasteful to me. A bird in the hand, and all that.

I won't be happy for those who souls are condemned. T'is me intent to keep that from happening to as many as possible.

Hell doesn't sound to bad, i've been to worse places...

...Like Grimsby or even Hull (shudders)





Hmmm... the fiery pits.... must remember to get some marshmallows

But that's a pipe dream, kid. John says explicitly that 144,000 will be saved, 12,000 from each tribe of Israel. It's a fixed number. If you're not one of them, you're out.

That's simply not correct Blatherskite. Many will be allowed in Heaven. The 144,000 refer to the Jews left after thew rapture of the church they'll be two more with them two witnesses. A whole different subject though. All that is required to enter Heaven is to believe that Christ died for your sins as your savior and that he was the Son of God. To repent of your sins is part of that. I'm not going to lie to ya. I still Sin I do ask for forgiveness when I do. T'is better to be a pauper in Heaven than a richman in Hell.

Man! How did I miss this? This is good comedy, here. But since Revelations is such an avalanche of absurdity, it's hard to notice every rock.

Anyway... here's the bit about 144,000. You're being overly hopeful, since there is nothing there about Jews.

"And they sung as it were a new song before the throne, and before the four beasts, and the elders: and no man could learn that song but the hundred and forty and four thousand, which were redeemed from the earth.
These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. (Rev 14:3-4)"

If you've had sex, you're doomed.

All kidding aside, the bit about non-Jews being saved comes from Chapter 7, involving the multitude clothed in white. Their fate is described thus:

"Therefore are they before the throne of God, and serve him day and night in his temple: and he that sitteth on the throne shall dwell among them. They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more; neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat. For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes." (Rev 7:15-17)

Breaking this down:

1) Serve him day and night in his temple - drudge workers
2) Hunger or thirst no more - a normal condition for the dead
3) No sunlight or heat - bummer
4) Food and water - whoopee
5) Wipe away tears - a rare condition for the dead

This is it? This is the great reward??

Well We all have sinned. Still I know I'm going to Heaven. You completely have missed the point if the whole thing. So if you've read the bible so much how come you don't know the rest of it. To try to understand Revelations is next to impossible without knowing the other prophetic books first even then it's still hard to know.

You know you are going to Heaven? Why?

Show me a single prophecy in the Bible which has come true and I'll reconsider Revelations.

I did earier Israel becoming a nation again

A nation?



Anybody calucated how much CO2 is given off by the concrete wall that divides the place up?

Sorry, but nothing in Revelations counts... primarily because everything that was predicted in it was supposed to occur within John's natural life span. I'm pretty sure he's dead.

Besides, I'd be pretty skeptical of anyone who can't even get the names of the tribes of Israel right. Compare the list in Genesis 49 with Revelations 7. John skips Dan and invents Manasses.

Anyway, I hate to tell you this, but your Israel "prophecy" is on pretty shaky ground. First of all, it takes some very liberal interpretation. Revelations Chapter 12 is what you're thinking about. "And there appeared a great wonder in heaven; a woman clothed with the sun, and the moon under her feet, and upon her head a crown of twelve stars." The woman is interpreted by some as representing Israel. This is based on a very shaky reference to Genesis 37:9, in which Joseph, the son of Jacob (Israel) dreams of the sun, moon, and 11 stars bowing to him. In Genesis those symbols stand for Joseph's father, mother, and 11 brothers. If we're to draw a parallel here, then Israel is already represented by the sun, and the woman is something else entirely.

But okay, let's say for a minute the woman symbolizes Israel. She spends the whole chapter hiding in the wilderness. Symbolically that might resemble how the nation of Israel was scattered among humanity, hidden among the general population. But now Israel is a real nation again, and they're right out there in the open. The fact that Israel exists as a nation today is a strong argument that the apocalypse isn't near.

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He honestly said that? What an amazing admission...

think the island is in the Canaries - Gran Canaria?

Hey, TheKid?

Do you know what really irritates me the most? Religious people. Yes, all of them. They are SO smug that they are the chosen few and coast through life looking down on the rest of us. They can do all the good stuff (wife swap, drink, curse, lay down with badgers) but Hey! Its all ok because every sunday, the big G says its cool and he forgives you.

What utter, utter hypocrites. You have the Pope telling millions of third world people that it is a sin to practice contraception and thus we end up with spiralling AIDS and poverty while he sits resplendant in his Roman palace. All religion is evil, all people who look down on reveryone else is a hypocrite and personally I cannot wait for the end of the world when that smug grin is wiped clean off their faces.