h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Village of Holmsbu, Norway - A1126766
Author: Mr. Carrot - U231406

Ok, first try at peer review...
Go easy on me please...

Mr. C,

Lovely entry on what appears to be a lovely town!
Nice first job. And great GML usage, too.

You may get more help from the more experienced, but I only noticed one small thing. Toward the end is the paragraph:

["Today, Holmsbu supplies it's locals with money mainly through tourism. As is the case with most things in Norway, all services are relatively expensive. Because of this, a lot of the tourists arriving in Holmsbu are quite well off. Thus, one of the facilities that can be found in the area is a twelve-hole golf course."]

It's only a grammar thing, but it sounds like the tourists are well off 'because' Holmsbu is expensive. Rephrasing the sentence:
'Because of the expense, a lot of the tourists arriving in Holmsbu tend to be the well off.'
Would seem to be clearer, IMHO.

Thanks for the praise...
I will edit the guide in the way you advised... I had a lot of trouble with that paragraph, and it still didn't flow all to well.

Thanks

Hi Mr Carrot

Yes, I'd agree it is a lovely entry - you should apply for a job with the Holmsbu tourist industry!

There are some small typos:

celcius > Celsius (I've been taught that this is always capitalised)

sunday > Sunday

humans in the area Since 1500 B.C. > humans in the area since 1500 B.C.

In those early days, The people living there > In those early days, the people living there

ritches from timber > riches from timber

reasonable accomodations > reasonable accomodation

I don't think the Norwegian language link will survive, sadly, as it's against h2g2 policy to include foreign language links.

I've just had a peek at the link and it's relatively easy to work out what it says. However, if it comes out, don't say I didn't warn you!

Thanks Zarquon...

I've edited out the typos... I'll blame my lousy english teacher for them.

I'm aware that the link is unlikely to make it because of the H2G2 policy, but I figured I'd give it a try. If it doesn't come out, then that's just too bad for the SPA hotel...

An international standard hotel should really have a website in some international standard languages (English, German, French etc.). But, alas, they haven't got that yet. Maybe I'll do it for them...
Nah, too much of a bother.

Thanks anyway...

I'm in agreement with the others who have posted here. This is a well-written article.
However, the sentence 'Because of this, a lot of the tourists arriving in Holmsbu are quite well off.'

Even with the suggestion give would still sound like the tourists are well off because the town is expensive.

I'd recommend you say 'Because fo this, Holmsbu tends to attract more affluent tourists"

2/3

Thanks, good idea...
I'll get right down to it.

One more thing. The subheading 'Where to stay and how to get to stay there' is a tad awkward.

Could be changed for something like 'accomodation - where and how' or similar.

One thing that just occured to me is you should maybe add a section on how to get there - by air and road. Something brief like "Fly into Gardemoen, take the train to Oslo then a coach (or other train)" or whatever. Or maybe its off the E18 (or whatever major road).

2/3

Hmm... yes, I suppose you are right...

Well, I thought about it, but how to get there kinda depends on where you start off from, and even then, there's no single answer to that question. Holmsbu lies in the middle of nowhere. There are a couple of buses going there from Oslo, but I figured that at sometime, the routes may change, and then the guide entry would be misleading, and people may get stranded (Not very likely, but still, you have to give information that'll last for a while). I suppose I could mention how to get there by car if you come from RV23. but, there are too many ways to cover them all sufficiently. The only possibility would be to link to a map...

I shouldn't worry about that, Mr C - this entry looks great to me. The few remaining spelling and grammar errors could very quickly be sorted out by a Sub-editor.

Good work!

Thanks...

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!

Well done, Mr. C!

Thanks...
YAY...

Hey Mr. Carrot,

I've been given your fabulous entry to subedit, and the result is at A1149220. If you spot something that needs attention, please drop me a note.

SchrEck Inc.