The Edge
Created | Updated Jun 25, 2003
Lorgnette had handily been dropped in a field in the middle of Yorkshire. Handy for the manufacturer of her shoes that is. For her, it was bloody inconvenient. Also inconvenient was the x-ray she had to go through just before stepping off the Mubuan ship-to-surface vehicle.
The Mubuan version of the x-ray was slightly different from the Earth version. Instead of passing radiation through the body in order to take a picture of the subject, the Mubuans slowly passed the patient/subject/victim horizontally through a rip in time1 whilst on a bed. Thus, layer by layer, the Mubuans built up a full 3D picture of the subject and could detect any objects or faults in the body2. Whilst doing this however, one part of the subject existed in another time and this has resulted in some rather unfortunate incidents, including the destruction of an entire solar system, when one person materialised, in a time five years ahead of his own, on a planet that no longer existed. When he returned to his own time, he alerted everyone to their imminent eradication and they took precautions to stop it happening. It never happened, therefore the man never materialised on the destroyed planet, thus he never alerted them to their imminent eradication, thus they never took precautions, so he did materialise on a destroyed planet and the loop started all over again. This resulted in a causal explosion, ripping apart the fabric of the entire solar system. It also made a successful tourist attraction, as the aftermath of a causal explosion is a very pretty pink.
Passing through a Mubuan x-ray did a lot for a person's modesty and Lorgnette's face was currently doing an impression of a strawberry. She'd been told to head for Heathrow Airport by the Mubuans and await instruction. She'd asked why they couldn't drop her at Heathrow Airport and they replied 'We've got tickets to see Celtic play and we thought it'd be good for both of us to drop you halfway.' B*****ds.
After wandering Yorkshire for what seemed like a decade (but was in fact only a couple of hours) she was picked up by a passing farmer. She found her way to Manchester Airport and got a plane down to Heathrow. All very easy really and nothing exciting happened, well, except for the stewardess serving her coffee eight times, causing her to spend most of the second half of the plane journey in the toilet.
