Hints for Dealing with Chronic Illness
Created | Updated Nov 12, 2003
Usually it is a Hug That is Needed, Not Words
We can all relate to many of these sayings, whether chronically, physically or emotionally ill. Try to remember this when speaking to a person with a chronic illness, as they did not choose it. Like you did not choose to have your last sickness!
Positive Suggestions
DO'S
Please try to always remember these things for us.
Balance is ONE key, and learning to make this lifestyle adjustment takes the entire support group of balance to make it work
Balance our alone time and social (people) time.
Balance movement/rest.
Balance living in the moment with reflection (past)and goals (future)
Balance the place for logic vs. creativity.
Balance thinking and feeling
Balance rest and diet.
Balance belief and thought.
Balance abstinence needed and new challenges tackled.
That is how we must make adjustments in our life, please try to respect them and us.
Negative Suggestions
DON'TS
Each of these sayings(and responses in brackets) are heard much to often , and a true friend would make an effort to avoid things like...
Cheer UP! (Please don't say that again.)
It could be worse! (Yes it could, but now is ok.)
What’s your problem? (This is often hard to deal with, best to ignore)
I'm sure it's not all that bad. (Sometimes not so bad, sometimes worse)
What makes you think anyone cares? (We know our friends do)
Grow Up! (We hope never to grow up, just wiser)
Pull yourself up by the bootstraps! (We would if in reach)
Lighten up! (Is very difficult to do, much easier to say)
Get off those pills! (Without these pills we may not be able to cope with the pain/stress, is that what you want?)
Take something! (If a medical professional suggests a treatment, then we will)
Have you been praying? Depression is a sin you know. (Prayer is a way with dealing with this problem)
It is all in your head so snap out of it. (We only wish it was that easy)
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. (Depression is part of an illness such as this)
You have so many things to be thankful for. (Daily we think of that)
What do you have to be depressed about? (The guilt associated with this is usually a good start)
Do you have pms? (As of now, we do. So you better run)
You need to get out more. (Sometimes enviromental factors affect us greatly)
Are you are looking for attention (Just a friend to lean on)
You need a hobby, you need a job, you need a cause, you need… (A helping hand and a friendly smile, or a hug from a friend)
Do you like feeling this way? (No, thank you)
You need a real tragedy to get some perspective. (We have enough tragedy to wish any more)
And the all time favourite
We all have our cross to bear. (Yes we all do, and being reminded of ours helps no one).
HOW IT IS FOR THE CHRONICALLY ILL
Very tired with no energy.
"When we are fatigued, everything is too great an effort. Everyday tasks become too much to do."
Increased pain.
"Pain itself is very fatiguing. When we are tired, we can't cope as well with the pain." Fatigue often comes along with pain
Loss of control.
Sometimes fatigue may make us feel helpless. We may feel we have little control over our life.
Loss of concentration.
Decisions become more difficult. It's as if our mind is tired, too.
Irritable.
It may be difficult to be constantly pleasant or happy. This may put a strain on your relationships. Sometimes "we are grouchy"
ADVICE for COPING
This is what we deal with daily, not of our choice which time/day/symptom...
Prepare for the ups and downs
Remember that depression pain, and fatigue are closely connected. Solving one of these problems can help us reduce the effects of the others.
Pace our daily tasks. Break down long-term goals into small, manageable steps that can be finished in a short time.
Learn how to ask for help from family, friends, and co-workers. Often this is a learned skill for those not used to doing so.
Solve as many reoccurring however small or large; irritations and functional and emotional problems as possible.
Try these six steps toward solving problems
1. Understand the problem
2. Find possible solutions
3. Evaluate your options
4. Put your plan into action
5. Evaluate the results
6. Reward all accomplishments
A lot of problems are harder to solve than others, especially those that have taken a while to develop and may include many factors.
Some problems cannot be solved, and that is the most frustrating part.
Do not ever give up!! If You Do We may not have a reason to fight anymore!!
Real Life
A wonderfully written first person account about depression can be found here , A Personal Account of Depression Survival . Thank You to spacemuse.
A wonderfully written account by Andy Rooney
can be found here , What I've learned
. Thank You Mr. Rooney
