h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That's just too bad. Have you tried hair transplants?

Just bought 60,000 copies of Funky Gibbon!!, if time travel happens, I can go back and make a killing)but not saying which sort(

Too bad time travel is physically impossible.

I told a mate its immpossible, he said how do you know, my reply was- do you think that a future reletive of mine would let me live always skintthey'd put 6 numbers through the letterbox

If time travel where possible, I would have a time machine.


Cos I'd use it to go to the future to get a time machine to give to me so I could go get it from the future.

if I did that, I'd come back and find I'd forgot the batteries and couldn't go forward to get them, as not invented yet as now here?

That's why good sci-fi should really stay away from time travel.

I'd hate to meet myselfI'd already know the jokes

Meeting yourself in the past is seldom productive and always embarresing.

I might not even like me, being a Yorkshireman,I'd charge me sen for me own autograph

The Dutch are at least as stingy.

we taught em! all, how 't' be tight

Nah. When a Dutch guy takes a girl out for dinner, they split the check.

HA!with us, they have to pay on first date, just in case it don't hit off

Dutch husbands and wives have seperate bank accounts.

and clogs to match

Yup. Clogs are made to endure, so they won't have to buy new ones any time soon.

me mam 'n' dad used to have separate accounts, talk about spys and mistrust

rivers have 2 banks as well, joint accounts????

They might have...

I'm not sure, but I think there still is a company in Yorkshire that still make clogs