h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Susan Winkle aka Traveller in Time, Susan Winkle aka on her head walks to the counter and start to search her purse
"I wish to register this complaint here if I can find it. A moment please."
She walks to a nearby table and starts to unload her bag, combs, brushes, tissues a complete boot of little notes come out
"Well, I got it somewhere here, just a moment please. Perhaps you can help the tree first?"

*helps tree while waiting*

found it yet?

Oak tree mumbling down his roots
"I wish to register a complaint about the chainsaws.
When I was young I could ease and relax all my days.
Browsing my leaves when the wind was playing with them.
Nowadays I am not comfortable anymore.
Those chainsaws are comming closer to my bark.
Everybody seems to carry one.
And they do not ask me."

*BING*

Complaint registered, chainsaw ban in the area imminent

thankyou for shopping with us

Susan Winkle aka Traveller in Time, Susan Winkle aka on her head finally hold up a note and walks to the counter
"Here I have got it, I wish to register a complaint about the shrubbery hunt."

ah yes, specifically??

*polishes the parrot on the perch next to himself absent mindedly*

Susan Winkle aka Traveller in Time, Susan Winkle aka on her head reading from her note
"The hunters are too slow to catch the shrubbery. The shrubbery is not green enough and there are no birds hidden inside the shrub."

*BING*
complaint registered

birds deployed to find shrubbery very fast and hide in it

anything else?

Susan Winkle aka Traveller in Time, Susan Winkle aka hiding in her green hair
"Yes, you have missed another complaint. Traveller in Time was here yesterday, he dropped a list at the reception. Perhaps you can collect it, or wait for him to drop by. I will inform him the service has been recommenced."

Fawlty Towers being rerun. YAY!

I'm sorry did you want something Ralph?

*notices Space has fallen asleep*

Ok then *dons an apron*

susan do you know what time traveller's complaint was as i can't find where space put the list?

Want something? How about a couple of weeks of from school?

Parrobot ling his nails
"Better not, they wil ask you to do the exams during summer hollidays. Besides you can count the hours you will have lessons ever! "

*wakes up*

oh, sorry, did someone need serving?

Traveller i seem..............yes i seem to have lost your list, what was it again?

Traveller in Time on his head
"I dropped it in the letterbox at the reception as even the security guys seemed to be out for diner."

*burps and straps on kevlar*

Yeah, New Year bash.

well i can't find it

prehaps the cat ate it

Traveller in Time with a party hat
"Let me see if I can find a copy, I must have it somewhere."

*cat throws up*

Why not look through the cat-barf, see if it's there.