h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

1300 EV and fords arrive at pub. No free tables. Portrait of Jamie's grandfather missing. Poor show.
1305 Zagreb arrives. fords does first joke of meet. Scotland win football tournament. Civilisation collapses.
1315 Table bagged. Ku'reshtin sends lightweight excuse for non-attendance.
1325 Zagreb sets record for most swearing in one minute.
1330 Pete Burns did a jobby in Zagreb's sink.
1401 Jamie arrives.
1413 Jools Holland is The Godfather.
1435 FC arrives. What were the chances of that then?
1500 Path to bar blocked by people watching cup final on large TV screen.
1525 fords doesn't want to through the eye of a needle.
1535 Mysterious wedding party leave the pub - will they get married at half time?
1539 Jamie explains the 2001-2002 diary in his pocket.
1545 Harry Ramsden, Harry Ramsden, Ramsden Ramsden, Harry Harry.
1550 FC wins the Miss Wet h2g2 T-Shirt contest by default.
1630 Gretna equalise. 'mon the underdogs. Conversation returns to bread and men in short shorts.
1705 The carrots taste like crayon.
1710 What was your best ?
1726 Aliens invade Hampden. No-one notices.
1732 Everyone takes photos of themselves rather than going to the bar.
1800 fords doctors colouring-in picture of animals. Monkeys are now anatomically correct.
1807 "How can a butterfly itself?"
1808 Killing whales. Japanese mentioned.
1821 fords kills the conversation.
1822 Politics discussed.
1825 DD arrives in suit. Far too proper for h2g2.
1829 Gladiator cockney style.
1843 FC has to put ice down own bra due to typical male ineptitude.
1846 Alarming cackle from FC in response to text message.
1858 DD spills!
1916 fords admits only reason with EV is that he warms seats and beds.
1918 FC won't tell us about her dirty weekend.
1925 Sperm in the pub!
1930 The intrepid group goes for a meal and to reflect on previous Towel Day meets.
2130 People start sobering up. Zagreb goes home.
2150 Jamie slacks off home. And then there were four...
2200 DD leads the toast to DNA. Cheers!
2248 Meet draws to its inevitable conclusion. Same time next year?