h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Aces (Fighter Pilot - WW1) - A1028125
Author: Refractor - U210447

Any feedback?

Excellent start

Not sure about the style... a little flippant for me personally, but we'll see what everyone else thinks first...

Couple of points you might want to add...

Richthofen (Sp?) after being shot down and killed was buried with full military honours - by the British Army... such was the chivalrous attitude of aviators of the epoch.

Secondly, you might want to note that the survival rate of downed pilots was greatly decreased by the fact that parachutes were banned by the British - who thought they would encourage cowardice.

In agreement with Whisky here.

It might also be worth mentioning that improvements in engineering, particularly of synchronising guns with propellors made a huge difference (you'd feel a bit miffed if you came down, having shot away a bit of your own propellor).

It might also be worth mentioning that a 'circus' was a general term for a bunch of planes flying together in formation - not just the Red Baron's. In combat, they broke up into individual dog-fights.

I'm afraid I've got to agree about the style - Might be worth mentioning that early planes were used for artillery observation and intelligence gathering.

My grandfather was an early member of the Flying Corps - at an age which would probably make him too old to fly nowadays - in the early days they used to wave at each other as they passed - a lot of them knew each other because flying was a small and exclusive society. There's some arguement about who actually started "the war in the air" my grandfather maintained it was an Australian bloke whose brother had been killed in the trenches, but I was only young when he died so I might have got the story wrong.

I enjoyed this and I think it has a lot of potential.

Regarding your style, I actually quite like it , but the jokes could be used more sparingly as they tend to undermine the informative purpose of the entry where they are used simply for their own sake.

For example, in paragraph two, I think your style works well - because it is actually informative while also entertaining. The same goes for paragraph six.

Elsewhere, though, while amusing, its use seems at odds with the purpose of the entry, which is to convay information on what is a fairly serious subject.

I think you are clearly good at revealing the irony of a situation, and that should be encouraged, but I think also that is something that needs to be used carefully, and only when it also helps inform the reader.

I think the line "no-one gives much of a Fonck about him these days" should be preserved in aspic, as it made me laugh heartily.

Would "World War I Flying Aces" make a better title?

I think you're right about the title, and will change it. Thanks.

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Well done


Scout

Indeed!

Thanks