h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You and three friends walk into the A/R Suite and sit down on black dentist-like chairs and wait while the black helmets (not too disimilar to a certain Vader) close over your heads...

You find yourself in a red rollercoaster cart in blackness... All that is illuminated is the cart and a large, yellow doorway with fairground lights on top...
Written on the doors is 'The Rimmer Experience'. You will not find joy in this place as the doorway moves gently toward you...

Entering through the double doors you stop immediately behind, and to your right the large face of Arnold Rimmer.
He salutes [hand held out in front of him, spins his wrist 5x anti-clockwise, lifts his hand to his forehead creating an equalateral triangle with arm and head, then throws his arm out horizontal where it drops to his waist).

"Welcome to 'The Rimmer Experience', a place of wonder, excitement and... wonder.
You are about to witness some heroic events which you may well find impossible to attribute to any living person... But then, Arnold J. Rimmer is a deeply remarkable man."

The cart moves off, and the face watches you go deeper into the ride...

as you enter the deep of the Rimmer experience, you suddenly feel the presense of someone else, a remarkable someone, the program gives you feeling of smugness, a feeling of success and a superiority over everybody else. The program then tells you, in Rimmers voice that you are about too observe a scene from the everyday life of Arnold Judas Rimmer, Admiral first class and honourary chief of the entire universe currently in command of Red Dwarf
Then, all of a sudden you see a scene, it's the Red Dwarf bridge, there are men at the consoles, they are all working hard, over in the corner is a fat man in a dirty uniform that say; Private nobody trying to clean a skutter, he bears a spooking resemblence to Captain Hollister.
Besides, him cleaning a food dsipenser is Listerette, in an even dirtier uniform that says: Private no body, she's got a shining "H" on her forhead.
Suddenly, Rimmer walks in and everyboddy give him a full Rimmer-salute, and he rapidly answers it.
He is wearing the most shining, resplendent uniform, with more medals than there are words for and a dashingly white couple of trousers.
Hollys voice echoes over the ship: Bing bong, attention, Admiral Rimmer is now on the bridge, Admiral Rimmer is now on the bridge!
After him follows Yvonne McGruder, crying out: Arnold, you cant leave me!!!
She then has a nervous breakdown and runs out of the bridge screaming and crying.
Rimmer looks out to the stars and says to the navigation officer; to the infinity and beyond!
Navi officer: Yes sir Mr Rimmer sir!

The picture fades off and a sign appears saying; The hero in action- next chapter to be concluded.