h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't want to go into detail just write a poem about how I now look on the world that we live in.

I feel inferior to those around me
they are all achieving great grades
I'm an average person who works hard
but doesn't get the grades she deserves

Males are there to use females
women to be used and put down
friends (so called) judge and are jealous
of a good looking girl like myself

I feel I am good looking when I look into the mirror
but when I see myself on TV I don't look as great
I do not need make up or feel a need to wear designer clothes
males like naturals not females in make up

Males have high sexual desires
women do not
Males can only think of one thing at a time
whilst females deal with several issues on their mind

This is the way life is and we all know it.
No wonder our parents wrap us in cotton wool and let us not see it.

A male wont take no for an answer
They always look around for an alternative method
To make us not detatched females kiss them
and if they can get sex too thats a bonus

In a world where I feel tiny
this is the way life is and we all know it.
No wonder our parents want to wrap us in cotton wool and let us not see it.

Hi opticalillusion
thanks for posting here, your poem is thought-provoking. Talk more later? Having a manic phase now and settle to anything except running around in circles and screaming! I will be back though, you are not alone in this.

Welcome oi - I hope you find this place helpful.

Interesting...

if you'll take it.

Thanks you two I do feel I need to talk to someone about how I feel in the world we live in. I find myself writing poetry which I like to reveal my inner feelings. I feel messed up after what happened to me and like I said in the poem. I wonder what on earth is the matter with me at times.

Hi OI

And Welcome from someone who has been down that road.

More later...today is not a good day for me.

I am sorry to hear that today is not a good day for you

Hi Opticalillusion and welcome! I'm Willem from South Africa. I hope you stay around and that we can get to know you.

I will stick around if you can help me get through my experience. I tried councelling but it didn't work and I am not keen on trying another councellor. It is going to wreck my current relationship I think as my view on males has changed somewhat he already says I seem to distance myself from him!! and I don't want to distance myself I want to be as close to him as possible.

I don't know if we could help you, but we could try...

Can I ask, is the way you say you feel about males in the poem above, really the way you always feel about them? Do you really think all men are like that?

Thats pretty much the side I have been given about males. However, my boyfriend who I think the world of and who I classed as a great mate before I got into a relationship with, contradicts my belief to some extent. However he wants our relationship to progress and I want to too but because I have been attacked I am quite uncomfortable and really don't want to get hurt.

Well, I don't want to be too forward ... I also am not sure just if I could help you, I'd like to hear what some of the other people here say about it ... does your boyfriend know what happened to you and how you feel? My own opinion is that he should be willing to allow you to progress at your own pace. If he really cares for you he will do that. Loo, you're young. There's no reason to rush things. In fact if you rush things there's a good chance you will be hurt again. You really need to work things out in your mind first ... if your boyfriend really loves you he must be able to understand that.

Let me say again there's absolutely no reason why you should rush the progress. Just think about this: I'm a guy, I'm now 31 years old, and I've not yet had a single romantic relationship yet, because I *know* for an absolute fact that I first have to work out my own problems ... if I try and start a relationship while still having to battle these demons then *I know* that I'm going to hurt the person I'm trying to have the relationship with and I do not want to hurt anybody for anything in the world!

Well, I don't want to be too forward ... I also am not sure just if I could help you, I'd like to hear what some of the other people here say about it ... does your boyfriend know what happened to you and how you feel? My own opinion is that he should be willing to allow you to progress at your own pace. If he really cares for you he will do that. Look, you're young. There's no reason to rush things. In fact if you rush things there's a good chance you will be hurt again. You really need to work things out in your mind first ... if your boyfriend really loves you he must be able to understand that.

Let me say again there's absolutely no reason why you should rush the progress. Just think about this: I'm a guy, I'm now 31 years old, and I've not yet had a single romantic relationship yet, because I *know* for an absolute fact that I first have to work out my own problems ... if I try and start a relationship while still having to battle these demons then *I know* that I'm going to hurt the person I'm trying to have the relationship with and I do not want to hurt anybody for anything in the world!

I have had little relationships ever since I was around 12. Most of them were two day holiday flings though. I have never come as far as I am now with my boyfriend before. I do need to talk to him more about it but I don't see him everyday to talk too. But my boyfriend knows exactly what happened to me and every time I talk about it he gives me a big hug. I don't think he knows how I currently feel about it I have tried sweeping it under the carpet and moving on but I think it still must affect me. I have been with my boyfriend for a couple of months but have been friends with him since October of last year. I don't want to hurt my boyfriend either.

Hmm, seeing as you've been having relationships for so long, and I not at all, what's the chance that I could tell you anything about relationships? But anyways for whatever it's worth I think you should tell your boyfriend how you feel and not sweep it under the carpet. The thing with traumatic events that happen is that they have all sorts of side effects and these side effects linger on long after the trauma. I don't know squat about relationships, but I do know a few things about trauma. Basically you may be having to deal with various negative feelings, about yourself, and also about other people in general. If you honestly do some introspection and find out how your views have changed as a result of what happened to you ... especially, if you consider whether these views are *realistic* or not ... you would be effectively dealing with the psychological aftereffects of your trauma. Then you may also be suffering from some physical problems. Maybe you should read around a bit here in the various forums here on the Survivor page. But just don't get alarmed by what you read here! Rather see it as a source of tips on how to identify and solve certain problems that linger on after a traumatic event, sexual violence in your case. There are many people here who have experienced similar problems.

Thanks I am going to take you up on your advice. I never used to think in this frame of mind at all, but now I see what I have written in my poem on re-reading it, I feel I should not be thinking that way to some degree. I think writing it and others helping me like you all have on this thread has helped too. So thanks keep the comments coming please I would like to hear more.

I just wanna say, I'm responding to your posts rather regularly right now, because I'm online and am going to be online for the rest of today (Sunday, here in South Africa it's now almost two o' clock in the afternoon) and I'm going to stay online until this evening and I check if people have responded to things I've posted, every hour or so. But then I'm probably not going to be online again until next Sunday. The other people will probably come online and respond at other times. I want to give them a chance to also respond

okey dokey thankyou

Hi OI,

From one who has been there and is still finding her way back.

Being able to talk about the sexual attach is the first step. Mine happened 36 years ago...and I can just now begin to talk about it. Don't wait that long. Don't compound with the attacker did.

Find an area of your relationship you are comfortable with. It can be something as 'simple' as hold hands without withdrawing. Add to that as your comfort level increases.

Remember to share your feelings...both positive and negative.

If your boyfriend is the *right* one for you, he will be patient.

I feel I can talk about what happened to a lot of people who are close to me. Which I guess judging from what you have said is a good thing. Me and my boyfriend can do a lot of things together but when he doesn't wear that many clothes I am apparently distant from him. Which is understandable I guess seeing as where the attack took place and the fact the guy wasn't wearing very much at all are in my memory. I don't like having serious talks with my boyfriend I want to lighten up and have fun if I can, but I understand I need to talk to him as he maybe thinking it is something to do with him and i don't want him to think like that. I also feel like he is the right guy for me and I cannot think of anyone else I'd rather be with ever.