h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I notice everyone is picking up on my belittlement of his truama. But can no-one see that all I wanted is for those of us who have suffered physical/sexual abuse to be able to talk to each other. I wouldn't appreciate my own husband butting in, unless I asked him, so why is it perceived as okay for someone with no experience in that area to butt in?

Oh and I appreciate your problems and I wish I could help, but I am guessing that you havn't been on here asking for help because they are just too big and there is nothing that we can do. Which is a huge shame.

And I do understand that as Barton is your husband, you will not be wanting to carry on with any conversations with me. And thats cool, loyalty can be a very good thing.

You were right, you have journal entries where I never replied. I re-read your journal entry many times about your son and what happened, and there is a reason why I never replied, but I believe you will perceive it as an insult, so I kept stumm.

You know my biggest problem is that I perceive Barton as wishing to be a father figure to all in the survivors group, and I am sure you must all be able to guess why I don't want another father figure!!

Kaz,

As far as I am concerned you may speak to anyone at all. I am not trying to control or threaten you.

I was trying to say that, your threads are your threads and I will respect that so long as you don't attack me by name.

In other threads, I intend to avoid speaking to you or engaging you in conversation, since that was what I thought you wanted.

If you attack me or my friends, I will feel free to consider that an invitation to participate, as I would on any thread on hootoo.

If you don't attack me or my friends, then there would be no reason for me to address you.

Who are my friends? Anyone who will accept me as a friend is at least potentially a friend. There is no reason why my list of friends and your list of friends might not include the same names.

I repeat, I have no intention, of bothering you or participating in conversations that do not concern me.

If you want to say things in private, then posting them anywhere on h2g2 is not the ideal way. It's a public board. Still, most of the time, I just won't know what you are saying because I won't be following you at all.

I sincerely hope that you and PC continue your friendship. I can't recall that I have ever stepped into one of those conversations and I don't see why that should change now.

So, if you have no more questions, I'll not post here again.

Barton

In no particular order....

1. Barton does NOT want to be a father-figure to anyone...either on-line or offline. He never has wanted to nor will he EVER want to...even though, several of our on-line and off-line friends have repeatedly tried to cast him in that role.

IMHO, if you (collective) were not of an age to be our children, the 'father-figure" issue would never have come about from any of you.

2. "But can no-one see that all I wanted is for those of us who have suffered physical/sexual abuse to be able to talk to each other."

Kaz, we ALL want everyone to be able to talk with whomever they feel comfortable speaking with...but bear in mind....this IS a public forum...including our journals. Anyone can respond to what we post.

"...Your Journal acts a bit like a personal Conversation Forum, in that other Researchers can discuss your Journal by visiting your Personal Space. You can think of your Journal as an open diary that everyone can read and comment on."

If any of us need a private place to talk, this is NOT the place.

"I wouldn't appreciate my own husband butting in, unless I asked him, so why is it perceived as okay for someone with no experience in that area to butt in?"

This simply doesn't apply. You CAN't control what anyone chooses to post as a reply to your journal entry or any other entry.

3. "Oh and I appreciate your problems and I wish I could help, but I am guessing that you havn't been on here asking for help because they are just too big and there is nothing that we can do. Which is a huge shame."

AND
"And I do understand that as Barton is your husband, you will not be wanting to carry on with any conversations with me. And thats cool, loyalty can be a very good thing."

I repeat,"TO ALL MY FRIENDS OUT ON H2...

We all have lives outside of H2... but people up here tend to forget that.

Personally, my offline life is taking up about 99-99/100's of my time right now. Until I can get my own problems under control, frankly, my dears, I don't give a d*mn about yours. Please, don't any of you take this personally."

This was not directed at you personally.

When I am hurting this bad, I WILL NOT drag anyone else down with me.

Loyality to Barton has nothing to do with anything. If I think he is wrong, I have no trouble letting him know that in no uncertain terms.

4. "You were right, you have journal entries where I never replied. I re-read your journal entry many times about your son and what happened, and there is a reason why I never replied, but I believe you will perceive it as an insult, so I kept stumm"

If you believe I will perceive it as an insult, that must be how you intend it to come across.

Kaz, I don't pretend to have been a great mother or even a good mother. In many ways, my son is more f*cked up than any of us out here and I take PART of the blame for that. I am also aware that it is a self-perpetuating situation and that my grand daughter is now caught in the same cycle of abuse as the rest of us have faced at some time or another (and quite frankly, I am sure some of us are STILL facing in some way, shape or form.

If I could help you, I would.
If I could help PC, I would.
If I could help Jellen, I would.
If I could help Abbi, I would.
If I could anyone else in the group, I would.
If I could help Chris, I would.
If I could help Barton, I would.
If I could help my son, I would.
If I could help myself, I would.

IF I COULD HELP MY GRANDDAUGHTER, I WOULD BECAUSE SHE IS THE MOST IN NEED OF HELP. SHE IS A CHILD AND CAN NOT PROTECT HERSELF.

Now, feel free to lump me in with all the other abusers or was that victims or was that surviors, or whatever.

I'll get back to you later.

'If you believe I will perceive it as an insult, that must be how you intend it to come across.'

no way, how could assume such a thing?

oh and I had no idea how old you were, that isn't why I made the comment about the father figure.

But as for your above comment, that you believe I intended to insult you, I never did, all I know is that the topic of conversation makes people very emotional so I decided after conversation with others you could perceive it as an attack, even though it was never meant as such.

That hurts though, if you believe that just because I thought you might perceive something as an attack, that my intention was to attack, then please don't talk to me again. I cannot believe you said that. I really really can't believe you think people work that way.

hi kaz
i've only just found out about this link n just read ur post...
after reading that plus what another friend on h2g2 has gone through i feel i have nothing 2 moan about,that i should 4get what happend n get on with my life with my new hubby n my children....
its good 2 see that u r feeling better 4 putting it all down n moving on with ur life,i know its hard but u will get there in the end