A Conversation for

The Waterfall Effect

Post 1

Richenda

A year ago I would have told you I was suffering from PTS due to an accident I had...flashbacks, fear of falling, fear of others I cared about falling, etc.

(drip, drip)

I got professional help and thought I was cured. Then I was diagnosed with RSD (article to be posted if I can ever find time to finish it). Basically RSD is pain out of proportion to injury or event. Chronic pain causes depression smiley - doh. Depressions trips my PTS. Lovely circle.

(drip, drip, drip, drip)

Sliding down a muddy slope. A misstep by a friend. A 'perceived' danger situation...that edge looks 'mighty' close and steep. Oops, fear of falling.

(drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip)

Hey, wait, I spent 18 years in an abuse marriage.

(drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip)

Hey, I was held up at knife point.
(drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip)


Raped as a teen.

(drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip).

Mental abuse as a child … spanking don’t count as physical abuse do they … even when you mom looses control - belts *are* preferred over bare hands - right?

(drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip).

Hey, wait a minute. I saw a doctor. I got help? He reminded me of a lizard with hooded eyes. He made me draw a picture of my house. The pencil didn’t have an eraser. I can’t draw. So what was the big deal that my house didn’t have a doorknob?

(drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, (drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip ,drip, drip, drip, drip).

G-d, I wonder what I’m going to remember next !*!*?!*?
smiley - erm










The Waterfall Effect

Post 2

Willem

Richenda, I can't give you any concrete advice, but I'm here to listen, and you're in my thoughts and prayers.

Willem


The Waterfall Effect

Post 3

psychocandy-moderation team leader

You're in my thoughts as well, Richenda. I'll be here to listen, too, any time you need.


The Waterfall Effect

Post 4

Willem

I'd just like to say, I'd like to know a bit more about this RSD ...

Anyways, Richenda, good luck with the recovery of your memories ... I'm not sure if I have hidden memories or not. It's possible. I've already done a lot of work on just remembering my past, my childhood and what's happened to me. There are 'gaps' in my teenage years. But lots of stuff I've always been aware of. I've never had the idea that I had an idyllic childhood ... but I was at least fortunate in that the abuse did not come from my *parents* ... truly they've been great and they're still incredible sources of support for me. But the thing is, my parents have suffered as well under the state of things, they also have their traumas, we're all trying to cope together.

Anyways I'm still here to listen and be supportive.


The Waterfall Effect

Post 5

Richenda

I am working on an article about RSD. I'll let you know when I post .. sometime this week for sure.

I did remember another outside source to help me jog some memories. I have a friend I have known since I was six. I asked her if she remembered how old I was when I was in counseling and if she remembered why. Her answer .. which time?!?! Was NOT the answer I was looking for .. sigh.


The Waterfall Effect

Post 6

Richenda

RSD article is now posted. (A1030203)

I tried not getting too technical. If you have any questions or comments, post them under the article and I'll try to answer them.

smiley - smiley


The Waterfall Effect

Post 7

Willem

Richenda, that was extremely interesting! I haven't had time to post comments to your article the last time, but I will do so later today! By the way, how are you doing these days?


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