h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, Dr, I expected this to be rubbish, but was pleasantly surprised to find that it was much worse the that. What's all this nonesense about cows then? Why can't you write something proper, like the history of cat fud, or how to kill fleees. These are both papers that my cat has recently submitted to the Royal Society, and they have been very encouraging in response.

What, encouraging it to stop writing?

You saying my cat can't write?

I'm saying it can't and it shouldn't.

There was little mention of tulips in teh article? Was this a purpsful attempt to reconsial the renasance of the Cow as an iconic figure in teh 2late 20 centuary? Or just a coincidence?

You have an ambulance waiting, I presume..

Ooops - classic simulpost... Tulips - no, I don't write about them anymore. Someone did write a whole book on the history of the tulip, but it wasn't me.

Was the amberlence for the cat?

It will be when we have our usual fight in the carpark.

I do this every week now. I submit a piece to the post, it gets published, and I get into a fight with my cat. I couldn't have done that ten years ago - such is the wonder of modern technology.

..sums it up nicely, Paula. Thanks

I note that you love your cat. As you can see, I am on less cordial terms with mine. Please don't assume that this is advocating violence towards cats in general. That is something I would never advocate. I am only advocating general violance in the direction of my cat, which is a ruthless ********* , that keeps casting aspertions on my universally appreciated art, and keeps on picking fights with me in the carpark.

I have always found a watergun to be an adequate defense against an overzealous cat.

I did to, but my cat has set up an automatic watergun detection shield using satellites.

Clever cat you have there.

Well, we'll see about that once I've got my anti-satellite torpedo launcher up and running..