P.U.D.D.I.N.G. - Service With a Snarl

Created Mar 4, 2003 | Updated Mar 6, 2003

Following on from our visit to the Thingites it seemed appropriate to call on their near neighbours at P.U.D.D.I.N.G. - the fastest growing club on h2g2 with over 80 members.
This prospect was daunting to say the least. The slightest word out of place could have sent them into spasms of grumpiness. First we hear a few words from their founder, Ormondroyd, then the results of the survey.

What prompted you to start the People United in Defence of Depression, Irritability and Natural Grumpiness Club?

Well, you might recall that I used to write a current affairs column for the Post called 'Notes From a Small Planet'. Week after week I'd explain exactly where George W. Bush and Tony Blair were going wrong, and neither of them ever had the decency to admit I was right and resign. That's the sort of thing that makes me really irritable.

However, the main credit for inspiring the formation of P.U.D.D.I.N.G. belongs to someone rather less famous, or infamous: Janice Hathy, a stress management expert from Kalamazoo, Michigan. While researching the 'Notes' column for 18 April, 2002, I came across a story about how this Ms Hathy wanted to launch an annual event called 'The Great American Grump Out' - during which grumpiness would be banned. People would be fined if caught frowning, and forced to wear special hats if caught being unhappy.

Are you all right? I can't help noticing the way you're twitching.

Yes, yes, it's just that thinking about it still... gets to me, you know? Hold on, I'll just take one of my tablets.

Now, where was I? Oh yes. Well, anyway, I thought that the very idea of persecuting people for being grumpy was an absolute outrage. Sometimes you have a perfectly good reason for feeling a bit tetchy. The most distinguished individuals can sometimes be in a bad mood. Heck, I hear that even the editor of the 'Post' gets grumpy sometimes! And when you're in that sort of mood, the very last thing you need is some er ordering you to cheer up!

Anyway, the story about the 'Great American Grump Out' provoked a discussion, during which the idea for P.U.D.D.I.N.G. arose. And now here we are, grumpily going from strength to strength! We have over 80 humanoid members, and we've recently started a 'Cantankerous Cats' Corner' after two P.U.D.D.I.N.G. members mentioned their petulant pets.

So, it is quite alright to feel sad then?

Are you in some way seeking to suggest that it might NOT be all right?

Er - no, no, of course not! Please stop staring at me like that! Honestly, I understand. You are not so much a club for depressed persons or for the promotion of unhappiness, but a club that stands for the right to express your feelings whatever they may be?

Yes. And please don't misunderstand us, because that really puts us in a bad mood.

What plans do you have for the future of P.U.D.D.I.N.G.?

Well, here's a Post exclusive for you. We already have a 'Heroes of P.U.D.D.I.N.G.' section on the club page honouring those characters, real and fictional, who have shown the right kind of attitude - headed, of course, by the immortal Marvin. I have been thinking of starting an 'Enemies of P.U.D.D.I.N.G.' section for relentlessly, maddeningly cheerful characters. I'm open to suggestions as to who should be included.

Eventually, I'd like to produce P.U.D.D.I.N.G. self-help manuals. The Power of Negative Thinking. I'm Grumpy, You're Grumpy. Feel The Fear and Hide Under the Bedclothes. That kind of thing.

I see. Well I won't say any more than thank you for enlightening us and may your group continue to prosper within h2g2.

I'm sure we will. As long as there are reasons to be grumpy, there'll be a purpose for P.U.D.D.I.N.G.!

What the P.U.D.D.I.N.G. Members Have to Say

What makes you depressed in real life?
- Misinformation over Mental Health Issues
- Losing things
- Lack of daylight
- Abuse of power
- Watching the news
- The futility and emptiness of it all
- Loneliness
- Rudeness, bad manners, arrogance, laziness, selfishness and ignorance
What makes you depressed on h2g2?
- The faceless cheekery of the misinformed over Mental Health issues
- People squabbling/leaving
- Inactivity in fora or being ignored by others in the thread
- Personal abuse - rare, so upsetting when it happens
- Trolls
- Nitpicking in interesting debates
- Arguing/not respecting other peoples opinions
- The lack of an 'undo' button
What breaks you out into grumpiness in real life?
- The frosty selfishness of the British over Mental Health issues
- People trying to push me around - I get seriously narky
- Dark or dark-grey cloudy mornings, PMS
- A complete answer to this would be so long that it would make the servers crash, but my most cherished pet hates include: automated telephone answering systems, mega-loud car sound systems, British people wearing fake-American clothes, tabloid newspapers and reality TV
- Car drivers
- Household things going wrong. Washing machine breaking down, gutters leaking etc., makes me seriously grumpy
- People not listening to me, or asking me a question without waiting to for me to answer it fully. People make assumptions about me and not taking me seriously
- Stupid people. I don't suffer fools easily. Most of the time I can ignore them, but not always. Stupid questions annoy me. ie. Someone rings work to ask what time we're open until. I say half past eight. She says 'In the evening?'!! Who ever heard of a library that's open until half past eight in the morning!
What breaks you out into grumpiness on h2g2?
- The same as for question two
- People trying to push me around - doesn't happen half so often though!
- People who post without consideration for other people's feelings, even if it isn't aimed at me
- The servers breaking down, and people abusing Peer Review to promote their own obsessions
- Trolls who sugar coat their troll-ness with niceness and jollity so that other Researchers don't see what they're up to
- People talking in those net acronyms and abbreviated words, and talking in smileys. Leaves me clueless
- People not replying to posts
- I wish I could organise my postings better
When do you feel most like a PUDDING? - choose between: morning/afternoon/evening/night and Spring/Summer/Autumn/Winter

Winter definitely came off the worst here.
- Winter nights
- Winter - no specific time
- Winter
- Anytime - but more in the morning
- Morning, night, Autumn, Winter
- Winter mornings
- All of the above except when Spring daffodils are out
- Summer - I hate the heat
Do you snap out of being a PUDDING when you? - choose between:
Read THHGTTG/Watch THHGTTG/Think about THHGTTG/Read a forum on h2g2
- When I read the original Hitch-Hiker books I usually find something to laugh about, except the perjorative portrayal of Manic Depression in Marvin the Android; I never saw Marvin have a hypomanic swing
- Pretty much all of the above - of course I forgot to bring the books and radio plays up to uni with me didn't I!
- I don't re-read the books that often, I don't have the radio plays - but occasionally people will be wonderful on h2g2 - that really cheers me up!
- 'Snap out of being a PUDDING'? I run the page!
- Why haven't you included 'Listen to THHGTTG'?
- Think about HHGTTG
- All of the above
When you joined PUDDING were you really grumpy or did you just want the chance to be grumpy occasionally?
- I was really grumpy
- I wanted the chance to be grumpy peacefully
- I was grumpy because other h2g2 researchers had recently tried to prevent me from being grumpy and were trying to cheer me up when I wasn't the least interested in cheering up! If they think I appreciate seeing one of my grumpy journals turning into one of those silly exchanges of single smilies, then they're wrong!
- I founded PUDDING when I was feeling grumpy about being picked on for looking grumpy
- I wanted the chance to be grumpy as often as I feel like it
- I just wanted to be allowed to be grumpy in peace
- Both!
- I thought PUDDING was a great idea. I applauded the fact that PUDDING stood up against people trying to impose false cheer on us. I like being able to feel grumpy when I'm grumpy and not having to pretend I'm not. It's not healthy to be falsely cheerful
Are you grumpy? - choose from: all of the time/most of the time/some of the time/hardly ever?
- Some of the time
- Some of the time - when I am I want to be left to be so though
- Some of the time - it's a bit difficult combining being grumpy with being an incurable optimist...
- Most of the time. (Hey, sometimes Bradford City win...)
- Most of the time
- Some of the time
- Most of the time
- I wouldn't say I'm grumpy ALL of the time. Like I said, it can be pushed away. Guess I'll have to choose some of the time
Is there a specific word/phrase which instantly makes you a true PUDDING??
- No
- 'Oh dear, I've lost my tail again'
- 'Oh chill out, will you!'
- 'Cheer up, it might never happen!'
- 'Do you have a public restroom?' 'Well, yes, but if you'd stop sucking those 64oz drinks down your neck all day long we wouldn't need one would we. We're a record store, not a rest stop! Who needs to drink 3 pints of cola... NOBODY!!!'
- Oh, so many to choose from. I'm going to go for... 'Cheer Up, it might never happen!'
- 'Cheer up, might never happen' or 'smile, your face wont crack'
- 'How are you?' Don't bother asking me this unless you really care about how I am. It's a stupid way to greet people
How grumpy were you at being asked all these questions?
- Extremely; you've put surprisingly little thought into it
- Not grumpy, just bemused
- Not grumpy at all, just fascinated that somebody would be interested by grumpiness
- Intensely. for giving me another opportunity to grumble!
- Not at all. Loved it! Nobody's ever asked me about being grumpy before
- How long is a piece of string?!
- Not very. It's good that the post is giving PUDDING some recognition