h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How do you deal with those annoying so-and-sos who keep ringing you wanting to sell double-glazing or patios or conservatories or whatever?

Usually I interupt their pitch, tell them politely that I am not interested and put the phone down, though if its the third one that afternoon when I am trying to watch the rugby I might be a bit more barbed.

The one that really gets up my nose it the "This is a courtesy call from..." one. Just now and again I am angry enough to ask them where the courtsey comes in...Do they really think it courteous to interrupt my dinner when I am expecting an important call to try to sell me something which, if I wanted it, I would approach them about? etc. Puts them off their stride in a big way.

Of course, you can block these calls but you have to make the effort to do it...

Anyone have any other slants on this one?

No- you've hit the nail on the head there. If I want something, then I will go and get it.
It's like when you walk into a shop, and within 10 miliseconds a commission-hungry salesperson asks if you need help. I know these people are earning a living, but if I actually want some help, I will ask (and to be fair, I'm normally treated with courtesy and respect. No problems there.) This kind of thing makes me leave shops, instead of encouraging me to buy stuff.

leaving a message on my mobile answering service, so that I have to pay to hear it (not knowing what it was till I heard it.) grr

I usually say "sorry, I don't own this property amd have no influence over the owner's decisions." This has always been true as it has been rented property or at my parents'. If they asked to speak to the owner, it's a very simple either - "Sorry, they do not live here and no, I don't have a contact number for them." or "Sorry, they do not wish to speak to you, at all. Please do not call back."

For double/triple glazing sales people, it's quite interesting to say (in an upset way) "you do realise that there are people who are allergic to sunlight and it's really awful cold calling them to try selling them windows!" but only if it's a hard sell person - cold callers are usually just trying to do a job.

I developed a technique for dealing with timeshare touts when I was on holiday. These people accost you (repeatedly) on the street and try and draw you into their scheme to make you sit through a five-hour odd presentation with spurious scratchcard games and the suchlike.
Invariably, the sales pitch starts off with the question: "You're English, aren't you?"
To which I now reply, in my best Home Counties accent, "No, I'm afraid not."
"Er, you sound English. You SPEAK English perfectly well!"
"No I don't, I can't understand a word of the language."
"But you...you..you just spoke English to me."
"Sorry, you must be mistaken. I can't speak any English at all..."

The conversation goes on like this until either I get a tirade of abuse or they walk off shaking their heads. Either way, I don't get bothered again.

Another option with cold callers is just to put the phone down - off the hook - they'll soon realise you're not there & hang up. Doesn't stop them trying again.
I really can't think why the same companies keep on calling. Hoping to break down our resistance I suppose. We did actually let a company come round to design a new kitchen for us, just to get some ideas. Despite their wonderful sign now offers, we firmly said no we'd think about it. That resulted in weeks of phone calls until we said we'd gone with another company.

Being a student, I get a lot of credit card offers from companies assuming I'm young (yes) and stupid (no) and have plenty of money to spend since I'm still mooching off of my parents (not really). I tend to try to convince them politely that no thank you, I really am not interested in a credit card. I own one and used it once and that was plenty for me. Of course, one time they had the temerity to call in the morning of the one day every two weeks that I'm able to sleep in, and let's just say I was a bit less polite than I usually prefer to be.

clzoomer? oR Bob ?once said :
Greet them In an enthusiastic voice,ASKing them what color their underwear is