h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have myself asked a question to this effect and was immediately sent to time out. I didn't know why I was punished because my parents didn't tell me what it was at the time. I imagine a good answer would be something like 'That is a part of a mommy's body where a baby is born ' Or perhaps 'It's not pronounced fuh-gina [change the subject]'

Mum said that babies grew in your tummy and I thought "Yukk! It has to sit in there among all the food!"
She also said that babies come out by making a little opening in your tummy and I thought women screamed in labour because their stomachs were being ripped open!
I think if any kids of mine asked me how babies are made I'd tell them that it happened between a man and a woman when love each other. If they asked how it happened, I'd say it was different for every couple. After all, it is.

I remember when a friend of my mother's told me about sex. I was about six years old. She explained the entire process and I thought 'Haha, I wonder what would happen if a man peed in there?!'

... and there is a whole subculture of videos and magazines available that would answer that question in very great detail.

Yes, I suppose. But that wouldn't be very nice would it?

A mate in year 6 told me about it all first. I didn't believe her because I couldn't imagine Mum and Dad doing anything so disgusting!

Being the eldest I was intrigued to know where my new little sister had come from. My mum explained that "when mummy & daddy want to make a baby, they get into bed & have a very special sort of hug. After that the baby grows in a special place inside mummy until it's ready." I still think this is a good way of describing it - truthful but simple enough for a three-year-old to understand. She later brought me a book with lots of diagrams (much to my grandmother's shock - it was the 70's).

Speaking to her later she told me that she always thought it was important not to lie to your kids - you should always tell the truth, though you might have to simplify a few things. After all, how can you trust someone who's lied to you about something as fundamental as where babies come from. She always tried to answer all our questions & never put us off with "because I say so" or "because I'm older than you".

She had a great reply for "why can't we have [insert toy / food / expensive thing of choice]?", which was "I don't think it's worth the money and you don't have any. Once you're earning your own, you can spend it on whatever rubbish you like."

You're right, that is a good way of explaining it!

It's so mad, in the early part of this century, even adults were misinformed about the lot! I saw a programme about it ages ago, and hardly anybody knew what it was all about until after they married. Even my great Great Gran went to the doctor and he told her she was pregnant and she was delighted, but surprised. "Oooh, I wonder how that happened?"

We always tried to give our two boys correct answers but simplified according to their age & understanding.

I recall my younger son, aged about 6, asking from the back of the car how to make babies. Having given him as comprehensive an answer I could while driving, he then had me in hysterics by responding 'How am I going to remember all that by the time I'm grown up?'

Our adherence to the correct names for body parts misfired slightly as my elder son went to school not knowing what a 'willie' is. So it obviously pays to explain both scientific names & euphemisms.

On a related subject, I remember when a friend and I asked his mum what a virgin was- it was near Christmas at the time, and we had been studying about the Virgin Mary etc...

She told us that a virgin was someone who had had a baby without having sex. Not entirely accurate, but close enough to explain to two young minds, and accurate enough in the given scenario. It was essentially the truth, but not so much that it scared us (or my mate's mum having to tell us).

Seems to me you have to tell the truth, but the way you tell it and the depth you go into depends on the age, mentality and maturity of the child in question.

TK

Just thought I'd pop a note in here about Entry A596081 - "How to Teach your Kids the Facts of Life".

B.

One time I was at my Aunt's house and we were watching "Shakespere In Love" and one of my cousins piped up "What are they doing?"

I just looked at my older brother for help.

I read a lot of stories when I was little, mostly about horses and unicorns and fluffy things. In the stories, only a virgin could attract a unicorn, and she was exceedingly beautiful, innocent, intelligent, etc. So one day I say to my mum (at the tender age of eleven), "I wish I was a virgin!" Then I wondered why she gave me that terrified look. And when I was very little (about five) and I saw a woman out shopping with her kid(s), I couldn't understand why the daddy wasn't there too. This led to explanations of "Well a woman doesn't have to be married to have kids." Then I spent most of my pre-adolescent life in dire fear that I would spontaneously become impregnated. Reading about the Virgin Mary in the Bible didn't help either

When i was little... i dont know what age... i asked my mum why she didn't have a penis... she replied by saying that one day she was sitting on the toilet and it just fell off... scared my brother for a while... haha...

Lol! I remember one time at school when a mate told me what it meant to be gay and at the time one of the boys was jumping on top of another boy and I yelled "Yuck, Peter's gay!!"