h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

For some reason mums get away for a mighty long time saying 21. Which is neither tow old ortwo young the problems do of course come when a youngster starts to learn subraction at school and a few years later realises that the difference between mummys age and their own is actually decressing. If the child has not worked this out by their twenty second birthday thay have missed too many elementary maths lessons.

Fathers on the other hand are tarred by the opposite brush. Dads can suffer from premature male pattern baldness and therefore look older than some famous people who have retained their hair. Therefore dads end up being calssed as ancient at all times. Dad's should be thankful that jokes about bald spots and grey hairs may lessen as male youngsters start to realise that this will happen to them to.

As old as my tongue and a bit older than my teeth. Courtesy of my Grandad - who cheated at cards if I didn't cut the pack, and ate blackberries with me, and liked the smell of steam trains when they went under the bridge, and gave me brown lemonade when we went to the pub, and never patronised me, and died when I was 8.

My mum did this one for years. I was about ten when I realised. She now has a new tack with the grandchildren who are all under 6 but fairly savvy. Instead of the age issue she has led them to believe that when she was younger she was Marilyn Monroe. She is a huge fan and has pictores and ornaments all over the house and only has to point to a picture ans say "who's that?" to them and they all pipe Granny.
Now they re a bit more aware of television not designed for children, they have been quite amazed to find out granny was in movies that are on television.

My Dad has always been 28, every birthday he says something like "28 again!" Me and by brother are 21 and 20 so it's going to be a problem soon.... Me and Mum always say she had me when she was 21 (when she was really 31) so she is 10 years younger.

I have a feeling that even when my dad is 80 he's still going to say he's 28....