So, how nerdy are you? Here are the answers.

By the way, you fail the test if you've posted under the questions, 'I'm not going to look up the answers, because I'm not interested in them, only in my witty made-up answers.' That makes you something other than a nerd. We won't say what.

Rate yourself nerdy from 1-13, depending on how many of these questions you can answer (there's extra credit). Then let the psychologists find something else to worry about, like brain-testing politicians.

1. Is Ungoliant male or female? Female. 'Ungoliant was a foul spirit who took the shape of a great spider,' says The Major Villains of 'The Lord of the Rings'. The Guide is Nerd Heaven.
2. What is the most important thing that happened 50 years ago this summer? The first human landing on the moon. If you said Woodstock, you aren't a nerd. You're just an ancient hippie. If you said something about the Beatles, you're Bluebottle.
3. What is prosopugnasia? Misspelled. It's prosopagnosia, and it's the inability to remember faces. Probably more common in nerds.
4. How many 'Planet of the Apes' movies have there been? Six, including that Tim Burton horror. Amazing fact: Bluebottle didn't write the Guide Entry.
5. Why is it funny that Pierre Boulle received a screenplay Oscar for 'Bridge on the River Kwai'? He didn't speak English (the language of the screenplay). You get extra nerd-points for knowing that the real screenwriters were on the Hollywood blacklist. We don't have a guide entry on this author or the film. Consider that a hint.
6. In what computer game will you hear 'I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire' by the Ink Spots – if you have the sound on, that is? Fallout 3. Ask Tavaron, she knows all about it.
7. What does the Canadian rock band Klaatu's name refer to? The robot in 'The Day the Earth Stood Still'. See Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft.
8. What can a superbolide do? Explode with a force measured in kilotons. See The Chelyabinsk Superbolide.
9. How many dinosaurs can you name? If your answer was more than ten, you get one Nerd Point. If more than fifty, give yourself an extra Nerd Point and go talk to Willem.
10. What is the longest English word you know? If you said, 'antidisestablishmentarianism', you get no Nerd Point. That just means you went to school. If you said Floccinaucinihilipilification, give yourself one Nerd Point. If you knew this word, which we refuse to copy, give yourself two Nerd Points and stop drinking all that Red Bull. Your brain is overheating.

Next, I will sing excerpts from my opera 'Planet of the Apes', in Klingon.

Dmitri Gheorgheni

12.08.19 Front Page

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