h2g2 Literary Corner: Proofs of Phrenology
Created | Updated Mar 26, 2017
Does climate change denial irk you? Do you become voluble in the direction of your internet when pseudoscience pops up on your Youtube screen? Then you're going to get really annoyed at the Phrenological and Physiological Almanac for 1848, price 6 cents. It's amazing.
We thought you'd like to see the evidentiary justification for this interesting 'science'. Remember this month's theme.
Proofs of Phrenology
- Partial insanity, or the derangement of one or more faculties while the others are perfectly sane1.
- Injuries and inflammation of the brain as connected with the derangement of those faculties located in the injured and inflamed portion2.
- Heads of nations, phrenologically speaking, correspond with their known characters3.
- The heads of distinguished and eccentric persons correspond with their characters and natural tendencies of mind4.
- The phrenological developments of animals correspond with their known character5.
- All carnivorous animals and birds have the organ of Destructiveness large, and the larger the organ the stronger the destructive propensity6.
- All herbivorous animals and birds have small Destructiveness, and are narrow in the region of this organ: all wild and untameable animals have large organs of Cautiousness and Secretiveness7; all animals that take their prey by stealth have large Secretiveness; those animals that lay up their food for the winter, have the organ of Acquisitiveness large8, while animals that do not, have it small.
- The intelligence of animals and human beings is in proportion to the heighth [sic], width, and length of the frontal lobe of the brain where the intellect is located9.
- As the shape of the brain of animals approaches that of the human brain their characters become similar10.
- The physiognomical expression of the various faculties is in proportion to the size and activity of the organ, and. the natural inclination of the head is in the direction of those faculties the most active; and when any class of faculties are much fatigued by exercise, the hand is instinctively directed to that portion of the brain where phrenology locates them11.
- Our own consciousness and every day's experience are strong evidences in favor of the science12.
- The delineation of character by the shape of the head13.
1You're just saying words here. What does that even mean? Not a promising start.2Okay, we want to see some medical charts.3You mean, like, Donald Trump has an odd bump somewhere that's connected to Twitter addiction?4As a person distinguished for eccentricity, the Post Editor takes exception to this line of reasoning.5Oh, now, wait a minute. Leave animals out of this mess.6So vegetarian humans don't have a large organ of Destructiveness, but big-game hunters do?7My cat is very secretive. Srsly.8So squirrels are acquisitive? Does that mean Wall Street brokers resemble squirrels?9What bump is spelling located in?10And as the shape of the brain approaches that of a cat, they become more adorable.11This may actually make sense. Well, sort of.12So we put this one down as just 'because, well, life'? Sounds suspiciously like truthiness to us.13The most characterful head we know.
