h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I remember going to a rather extensive shelter many years ago, built in Harvard, Massachusetts. Probably it was designed for the leading lights of that small town. Whatever food supplies were kept there would surely no longer be usable.

It's also useful to note that the "Mad Men" generation smoked like chimneys. They would have kept ample supplies of tobacco to get them through the crisis, but nowadays surely most fallout shelters would be designated nonsmoking, as they are indoor spaces. If Mr. Serling were still alive, I expect that he would either have kicked the habit or would prefer to light up outside while he watched the horizon light up with mushroom clouds. Who cares about a longer life if radiation is going to get you anyway?

Interestingly enough, many people in Tornado Alley have storm shelters, some of them equipped with supplies. I suppose that if/when the nuclear bombs start falling, one could get some shelter in those things, but that would only mean prolonging the agony. Sure, you wouldn't die immediately, but radiation in the air would be bad news if you wanted to live out your threescore and ten.

I think of Dorothy and Toto trying to join Auntie Em and Uncle Henry in the storm shelter. What if the commies started dropping houses on us? What then!?

Or cows. I think the government has paid insufficient attention to the threat of engineered Fortean phenomena.

It is interesting to think about those old shelters, though - I wonder what uses they could be put to.

And the idea of smoking sections in fallout shelters, wow...

Living in earthquake country, as I do, one needs to worry about shelter and supplies, and rather than fallout, it's more like fall on, or what you don't want to have fall on you or your shelter and supplies. Today's fallout shelter or rather shakeout shelter is none other than that most American of things; The Recreational Vehicle, better known as the RV. A fully stocked RV, parked in a safe place is truly a lifeboat for troubled times. Plus, it's hard to loot something going 70 miles an hour!

Hey, I like that! A getaway car!

You might be better off heading for the hills. Literally. A secure cave is nothing to sneeze at. Just don't head for Yucca Mountain, which is about 80 miles from Las Vegas. That's a storage facility for nuclear waste. yikes> You would definitely get wasted there.

Here's my latest story, which is relevant to the topic:


"Here are the plans for the fallout shelter."

"Why so big?"

"Three kitchens: vegan, vegetarian, and regular."

"Two dining rooms?"

"One smoking, one nonsmoking."

"Two coffeemakers?"

"One caffeinated, the other decaf."

"Why so many CDs and DVDs?"

"The cloud may be down."