I'm quite crotchety this week. Downright bad tempered, really. In a sort of spoiling-for-a-fight mood. Not a fight, thinking about it. I throw a punch like a malnourished daisy. An argument. The sort of argument you can always rely on if you start an 'is there a god?' thread in Ask and wait for someone to use the pink unicorn defence.

Anyone who read my article in last week's Post about child abuse would have good reason to guess the cause of my ire. In the UK the issue has been much in the news over the last couple of weeks, with a little girl disappearing in Wales, a school girl running off to France with her teacher and the whole Jimmy Savile business I mentioned in my previous piece. Indeed, it is infuriating, at times, to listen to and read some of the rubbish people talk and realise they are so far from doing good that they are actually doing harm, but that isn't the main issue. The main issue, in fact, is that MY ARM HURTS!

If you are really interested in why my arm hurts, please read this. Done? Good. So this (and if you didn't read the article you won't know what this is – ha!) has been going on for weeks. It's climbed up my shoulder and into my back, through my neck and down my left arm. I am waiting for an appointment with a physiotherapist, but the waiting time is nine weeks. Nine weeks! I am not used to being in consistent pain for nine weeks. It can be alleviated by pain killers and so forth, but only partially. It's driving me mad. On the bright side, I am a close as I ever have been to understanding my wife's pain. My problem with sympathy pain in the past has been that I always know my pain is coming to a very speedy end. This has gone on for a while and is starting to make me grouchy, give me headaches, make me tired and giving me an infernally stiff neck.

Let's just remember what pain is. It's an alarm. It's your body's way of telling you something is wrong. As such your body reacts to respond to the wrongness, martials it's forces, tenses muscles around the damaged area to make it safe and generally wears you out. You may notice a prolonged headache making you drowsy, or, I don't know, an axe being buried two thirds of the way up your left leg. The idea is that the cause of the alarm is attended to as soon as possible, the alarm is persuaded to subside and everything goes back to normal. The trouble is my problem isn't, in itself, that severe. I think of it as like a small fire. I can't actually put it out, but I can empty water over it with enough regularity to prevent spreading out of control. The trouble is that I have been waiting for the fire brigade to arrive for two months. I'm knackered. I could do with putting the bucket down.

For my wife, and other sufferers of illnesses for which pain is a significant factor, the alarm can be worse. It can be the annoying burglar alarm that goes off in the shop over the road and whines ALL DAMN WEEKEND until someone comes in Monday and turns the thing off. For my wife the wretched thing can still be going off long after the burglars have been arrested, tried, convicted and released on bail. In other words, she is hypersensitive when her body has been damaged, but the pain can continue for an indefinite time period after the damage has been repaired. We consulted a specialist recently about her back pain. The good news is that there is nothing wrong with her back, but he had no idea when (or even if) her pain would subside. She did not find that cheerful. I can't really blame her.

So, here is my message: Shut up shut shut up! I did press that damn button you stupid machine! Look just save the thing can you? Oh forget it!
No, sorry, wrong message. My message is more helpful. Pain makes you tired and stressed and bad tempered. Some people are in pain all the time. Literally. If someone you know is bad tempered all the time, maybe you could ask (gently) if they are in pain. If they are, just go easy on them. They're doing their best.

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