h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...then use it to scare rich people into parting with their cash. You can lead the 'gangsta' lifestyle for a while until you're caught, and then you get to stay in prison for a few years. What could be a more cost effective way of living than that? You get three meals a day, a bed to sleep in, and even a colour TV. No rent to pay, no utility bills, free access to vocational training, and also to college and university courses. Ideal.

But seriously: The easiest way to stay out of the red is to live firmly within your means. There's absolutely no point in buying things that you can't afford; it might make you happy in the short term, but it's guaranteed to make you miserable for a lot longer.

If you accept your social status and at the same time plan to improve your earning potential, you're on track for a happier life. It's even better to be happy with what you've got and refuse to get caught up in the drive for bigger, better, newer, material possessions, but it's easier said than done of course.

The best advice is not to borrow money unless you absolutely have to, and even then, shop around, get the best deal you possibly can, and at the lowest rate of interest you can get. What's the point in putting something on your credit card and paying 20% interest P/A, when you could have got a bank loan and paid 7%? If it's a larger purchase, say several thousand pounds, why not put it on your mortgage and pay 5%? But remember that it's going to take you up to 25 years to pay off, so is it still going to be of any use to you by the time you've finished paying for it? If not, do you really need it?

Try to buy things that will increase in value, rather than depreciate. For instance; buy an antique instead of the latest veneered flatpacked crap at the same kind of price. If you don't do a lot of miles in a year, buy a classic car instead of a brand new one. Sure, it's not likely to be quite as reliable, but what you save on depreciation will pay for repairs, and it can still be a cool car; it doesn't have to be shabby, and if it's over 20 years old, you don't have to pay road tax.

There are loads of ways you can save money, but the main thing is that you live within your means and plan ahead : )

Blech -- so it all boils down to planning ahead, and watching what you spend, does it? I suppose next you'll be telling me that losing weight just requires eating less and exercising more....

Indeed it does, my corpulent (and no doubt hirsute) friend. But the 'whacking off too much will make you blind' thing is a myth, in case you were worried. There is an Irish-American whom I've known for a lot longer than the six hours of your being, that proves this is a fallacy...though I haven't heard whether his palms are hairy.

Here; have a smiley just for the heck of it

Hateful looks toward the impoverished demeanor of senwad.

Do you have to antagonize everyone? It seems to be in your essence to burn all bridges and open all wounds. Every wondered about that? So what if the guy* is a fatso? It's his flab, not yours. I think this hefty one is alright, yes indeed. You should learn acceptance, you oaf.

Besides, that entry of yours reads like a pop psychology/banking brochure tract. God, you could put a speed freak to sleep.

*I assume male genitalia, not female. I may be wrong.

I took it* to be you Seamus; the writing style is somewhat similar to your own. And what with it* being only six hours old at time of posting, it* seemed likely to be one of your many (odious) doppelgangers.

If this isn't so, 'the fire and the rose are one', my dough fleshed friend, I apologise profusely.

I've learned acceptance, Seamus; I don't hold the fact that you're a lardass and a dolt against you. I still converse with you don't I? (not that I'd ever want to be seen in public with you, you understand)

*I was assuming no genitalia, as per the 'fourth sex' discussion, earlier.

I was getting around to replying, really I was. It's just that I have -- oh, what's it called? Oh yes, a life...

Thought I detected a little hazing of the newbie. *tch*tch* That would be OK, but I will admit to feeling relieved that's it's only mistaken ident. As it happens, I'm neither hairy nor male. Nor Irish, for that matter. I won't claim skinny, though only real body-snobs would call me fat. Had no idea such a brief entry could give such an impression. What are you guys bringing to the table...? I suppose I'll have to update my bio lest this hairy-palmed image follow me around.

A life? Me too, unfortunately, though I've managed to hide from it for the last week and a half. I'm hoping to evade it until at least monday, then suffer it until a cheap holiday sometime in May, which will hopefully keep me sane until next Christmas.

What are we bringing to the table? I'll be bringing a tub of lard, pudding and offensive personal observations, and Murphy will bring refried beans, tofu, bad table manners and pseudo intellectual insights.

Sorry about the mistaken identity