h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

At my university there was a lecturer who used the word 'Umm' a lot. We kept a running total and when he got to 100 in the space of an hour we all gave a big cheer.

A science teacher at school always used the word sylabus a lot in our lessons. We kept a running count for each lesson in a tally chart in the back of a friend'S book.

36 was his record for a one hour lesson. Troubel descended when he decided to mark the books one day and found the chart.

Another school related anecdote...

We would wind our German teacher up by quietly moving all of the desks forward whilst he was writing on the blackboard and had his back to us.

Over the course of a 50 minute lesson we could move them so far forward as to corral him at his blackboard. Also we would tighten up the gaps between all the desks, so that as much as the back third of the classroom was now empty space!

He did nothing as he was scared of us all.

That's a good one! The only thing I ever managed was getting a large group of people to cough every time my math prof said 'cosine'. By the end of the period he was onto us, though. Thank god he couldn't find the ringleader.

There was a story (haven't been able to verify it but knowing the supposéd perpetrator I can well believe it) that at my high school, a particularly well endowed maths teacher reprimanded one of her pupils for chatting in class "Would you like to share the joke with all of us, [name deleted]?"

"I was just saying what big t**s you've got miss"

Like I said, I can't verify it but it wouldn't surprise me...