h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's the final day of the weekend and you need to make the absolute most of it, so wake up early and walk home from the halls of residence of the Wonford Hospital nursing college (you wish). It is said that there are two sure things in life; death and nurses. Don't count on it.

Don sporting apparel and attempt an eight-mile run ... up through Heavitree, branching left at Magdalen Street, and then coast down towards town, negotiating the spaghetti junction of the inner by-pass. Get onto the flood berms of the River Exe, cross over the river, running downstream. Branch off onto the canal tow-path, and stay on this until you reach the outer by-pass. Turn left up towards the Topsham Road roundabout, which you cross with caution. Then up the outer bypass towards ..............., thence staying left and heading back down into Heavitree.

Take the money out of your sock, and pop into the newsagents to get Sunday papers and an Economist. Perambulate gently home. That's an hour gone.

BBC Radio 4 now supplies the Archer's Omnibus Edition after which you mount your trusty bicycle and pedal down to the Double Locks (you've already run past it once today so you know where it is). Enjoy several pints of Ale to accompany your chilli-potato or your stilton ploughmans.

Cycle home (gingerly, and staying off the public road in the interests of road safety and the safe custody of your cycling proficiency badge.)

Should be a Sunday afternoon match on the box. Feet up.

Enjoy a sun-downer (even if there isn't any sun) in the back yard before preparing supper - poached eggs, saute potatoes, some baked beans maybe, washed down with a cheap bottle of South African pinotage. Wander back into Heavitree for a pint or two in the Royal Oak, playing cribbage for the imagined hand in marriage of either Wendy or the musatoid-legged Rachel.

Dr Montague Trout
(somewhat foggily recalling those halcyon days)

Replace text please...

"... Then up the outer bypass towards Middlemoor staying left at the Roundabout and heading back down into Heavitree..."

is it not true, dr. montague, that you were in fact being pursued by nurses of the oncology ward? following a rather insensitive comment about not being about to count on nurses nor death?

Rather, I'd like to think that I was pointing out (perhaps clumsily if you misread it) that I discovered during the callow hormonally-charged frustration of youth that the sterotypical Carry-On image borne by nurses is in fact unfair.