h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I must admit that I'm at a bit of a loss as to why an American would want to assume a false English identity, but you could just tell your readers to put a hot coal in their mouths when they're typing (for atmosphere), and think of the most long-winded way of saying what they want to say.

Is it just remorse over what you've done to the language?

I suppose immitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Remorse? What have I done to it? (I'm in New England, and most of us don't mangle it that badly.) I blame everything south of Maryland or west of Ohio for that. And Australian English...*whimpers* The front rounded vowels! It's unthinkable! I mean, I can live with /y/ (close front rounded), and I even like /8/ (close-mid central rounded), but they have /2/ (close-mid front rounded), and even /9/ (open-mid front rounded)!

But I guess that might be a benefit: they can pronounce French more easily.

i have no intention of imitating an english accent, and neither does my boyfriend, however most of our friends claim that we both have english accents. they say this despite the fact that we have both lived in the midwest most of our lives. while imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, ignorance (intentional or not) is the worst form of insult.

I must say I'm curious as to what your 'English' accent sounds like.
In the UK, if you hear someone with an American accent, if they aren't American, they are usually Irish.