h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's often been joked that there were no toilets on the original "Enterprise" (NCC1701). What is not so widely appreciated is the weight of evidence supporting this...

For instance, those trousers... Have a look at the huge "pouches" just above the boots. You can almost hear them "slosh" when the crew runs...

More damningly, think about this... Can you think of a more compelling reason why, no matter how dangerous the planet they've just arrived at, the highest ranking officers always beam down first, and the first thing they do is to seperate and go behind different rocks? The landing sites look like they have been specially chosen just to have the big rocks to hide behind...

brilliant!

isnt there a plan of the enterprise d that shows picard has his own loo! obvioulsy captains perks get better and better as time goes on.


i'll never forget the Babylon 5 ep where people actually used the loo. major shock there, people useing the loo in space!"$!£$$!

there are loos on 'Enterprise' the new series arent there?

FABT

They show the toilet in the brig in Star Trek IV - Kirk slaps the wall, and the seat slides out of it, complete with a sign saying "Do not use while in spacedock"!

The cutaway profile of the Enterprise-D in the Next Gen tech manual (which is a copy of the one on the master systems display in Main Engineering) does show that there's a loo next to the Captain's ready room. Mind you, it also shows a Porsche 911 in the main shuttlebay, a light aircraft parked in the arboretum, and a nine foot high duck above the saucer section computer core. You know, I'm beginning to think the whole thing is just made up...

H.

I don't know why the ranking officers hide behind rocks (don't remember seeing this too often). Though if I had a huge brain sucking monster coming at me I'd want to hide behind a rock too.
In Next Gen. however it was decided, at least not to have the captain beam down on away missions. In fact at times Riker has to object to the captain’s decision to beam down.

I would imagine that any waste matter is automatically removed from the crew by the transporters??

perhaps this is why Picard has his own loo, 'cos he doesn't go on many away missions......

And in an emergency, you could always request a s**te-to-site transport...........

Ha! I like that!

Ah, but it's been established that Picard has his own loo so he doesn't have to 'Boldy go' when he have to go. Kirk didn't have these advantages...no wonder he was so will to get into fights, you'd be a litle cranky too after years in space without a loo.

On the discussion of fecal matters, I find it hard to believe that human nature had changed so much that the Enterprise was repeatedly able to go into orbit above Starfleet Academy without someone beaming a t*rd onto the captain's chair...

I can't believe I forgot to make a "captain's log" gag....

..............and nobody once mentioned the word "Klingon"

Q: Why was Lieutenant Uhura brown?

A: Because William Shatner.

Sorry.