h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

One may ask themself, "What do I do with a Holey sock? It was once my best friend, but now it is on it's way out!"

Here are a few tips for the grieving sock-lover :

1) Take a tip from the alternative music world. Aside from the foot, the rest of the sock is usually still good quality...so, slice the holey part off, and voila! You have some convienient arm warmers. Cut a hole in one side for a thumb, and you are set to go!

2) Whack in a bit of cat nip and a few jingly-jangely balls, and be assured your cat (or dog - they are stupid enough) will tear it and love it to pieces within the hour.

3) Cut it in half lengthwise, nail it to the wall and use it as a lovely wall decoration.

4) Attach a hook at one end, and hang it from your Christmas tree.

5) Create a website dedicated to the lost socks, and then bury them in the garden. Soon the world shall know of your love for the foot-coverings.

6) Roll the pair up, and let your 8 year olds use it as a football at school. The worse the others will get is a wet sock in the face. No bruises..!

7) Or throw it out you freak! It's a SOCK!