h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When on a ferry, don't talk over the
"The captain of this vessel would like to draw your attention to the following safety announcement. In the unlikely event of an emergency the Captain will make seven short blasts followed by one prolonged blast on the ships whistle and alarm bells, followed by an anouncement on the Public Address system. Remain calm, and proceed to the muster stations. The muster stations can be identified by a large green sign with arrows in each corner pointing towards a family group. There lifeboats and buoancy apperatus will be distributed by the ships crew. We hope you enjoy this vessel, and thankyou for travelling Wightlink."
announcement, but do talk over the "The gift shop and cafe/bar are now opening, with a wide range of gifts and refreshments...." announcement.

Also, try not to laugh at those who look sea-sick.

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You've been on that ferry far too many times.

Have you considered water skiing to Southampton and back during the Summer months?

I try to sit near the front in planes and do my best at distracting the cabin crew and making them giggle during the safety announcements. oops. sorry.

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The announcement is a recording, but now on the Red Jets they have it on a video, so you get to see people take off their shoes and put on their lifejackets very slowly, pointing at their whistles and belts etc. It's hilarious.

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Best to try and avoid travelling on these on a Saturday first thing in the morning to Scotland and last thing at night back.

THE REASON: You will come across a boat load of Celtic or Rangers fans heading up to Glasgow for the football matches.

How about; Don't try to get a Western Isles ferry on a Sunday, there aren't any.
Also, when on any Cal Mac ferry, queue early for the bar, have your ticket ready for inspection early and (certainly a few years ago) all cars are charged by length, not height so pile 'em on high.
Also, remember that almost all the public transport runs to the ferry times, so don't worry that you'll miss your connection, its waiting.

Unless as happened to me once at Stranraer once I was stuck on the ferry in exceptional high tides for 4 hours unable to disembark.

The catamarans and hovercraft to the Island are often cancelled, but the car ferries very rarely are.
When the cats are cancelled, most foot passengers can simply take the longer car ferry over, it only takes half an hour more.

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