h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Of my limited experience of witnessing bestman speeches (not had to do any as yet) it is essential that the bestman doesn't get too drunk.

The first wedding I went to was cringeworthy as the bestman was hammered and subsequently slurred his way through what was a mediocre speech, thinking he was hilarious, ad-libing crude jokes. You really felt that it would have been kind to put a sniper in the far corner to put the poor sod out of his misery - sadly this idea only came in retrospect.

The speech has to be pertinent obviously but so that everyone can understand at least a part of what is being discussed. Sly references to one off acts of derring do will probably raise a snigger from the three people involved but without a little more explanation the rest of your audience is going to miss the point entirely.

The best bestman's speech I've heard was relatively short, prop orientated and funny for those of us who didn't know the groom ... no grandparents were upset, the bride was suitably flattered and the groom could show his face in public again ...

I don't suppose for a moment that you can please everyone and indeed make everyone laugh at the same time, but so long as everyone feels that it went well then you can't ask for more than that!

Off to a wedding in three weeks time ... wonder how that'll be ...