h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Has anybody ever investigated the Town Council officials of Swindon? It seems incredible that a town like Swindon could have evolved as barren as it indeed is, without a concerted campaign of incompetence.

It is hard to believe that a town can be as large yet as dull as Swindon. Given the choice of a shopping spree in Swindon and a visity to Albert Codling's Wet Cardboard Collection you'll find me down Albert's every time.

If the unrelenting dullness is due to some kind of 'plan' then it is still evolving. Do you remember the plague of shoe shops that gripped the town centre five or six years ago? Every other shop facade was stuffed with footwear.
Now they are almost all gone and replaced largely with phone shops.

Over the years any interesting shop has been forced out of business.

Current intersting shops flying in the dull face of Swindon include Trinket Box, Just Add Water and Ace of Space. Catch them soon before another phone shop opens.

And take a trip to Piper's Way roundabout after dark and see if you can figure out what the _real_ business of that kebab vans owner is - he surely can't actually make a living selling kebabs there...

And while we are on the subject of mysteries, why is Swindon always so damn busy? What do all those people do? Regent street throngs on a Saturday morning like Oxford Street at Christmas. Yet step into any shop and there is never anyone actually buying anything.
So what are they all doing there? Do the council pay them to spend their time ambling from one phone shop to the next? I can't think of any other reason for their persistant presence.

And the roundabouts... gawd, don't get me started on the roundabouts. The buggers follow me around - I swear.