A Conversation for Office Food and Drink

Nitpicks

Post 1

SchrEck Inc.

Hi Moonglum,

this is another great one, liked it very much. smiley - biggrin As usual, here are a few minor points that I stumbled over:

- Immunity paragraph: The smiley in sentence '(which is quite handy really smiley - smiley ).' has to go, these are off limits in edited entries.

- Staff discount para: 'but it should reduce the [bill] to a much more reasonable level.'

- Food dispenser section: 'money munching devices ever evented.' - invented?

- Violence para: 'Just because you haven't managed to get you[r] packet of crisps or...'

- Drinks dispenser section: 'hot or cold liquids which can be loos[el]y referred to as...'

- Coffee para: 'I would say that dispensers...' - the first person has to go, try 'It could be said that dispensers...'. Also '... caf[f]eine free.'


Nitpicks

Post 2

Moonglum Clampflower (MornC), Muse of Ego, Keeper of the Lamp and Guru, (aka Happinose)

Hi SchrEck Inc.

Thanks for the comments, glad you liked it. I have corrected all the typos and taken out the smiley smiley - sadface. Sometimes my brain goes in to autowriting mode. It auto get the right spelling but doesn't. smiley - biggrin

With the first person bit, I simply removed the "I would say" chunk as it wasn't really needed.

Thanks for your help. Next chunk in progress.

smiley - crescentmoonsmiley - biggrin


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