h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Other people make things worse by stepping around you like they're walking on egg shells and asking you if you're o.k every five mins. I know they mean well but sometimes you just need to get on. It took me almost a year to get over my mums death (she was only 49 when she died). And I only started to get better when one of my mates decided they'd had enough of me being depressed all the time. How did I get better???
Well my friend started to make fun of my moods (not in a nasty way) and the fact that It always seamed I had a little rain clould hovering over my head about to let loose with the storm of the centrurey should anyone dare say the wrong thing.

Did it work? Well it did for me I needed to be able to laugh at myself. I needed it to be o,k to laugh even.

I have never believed in walking on eggshells. Death is an awkward subject, and when I see friends who have suffered from bereavement, the first thing I do is mention it. Tactless? Yes, but it gets the whole awkward thing out of the way. That way, if my friend needs to talk he/she/it can, without worrying about what I or anybody else is thinking.

Good for you.

The worse thing about some one close to you dying, is you don't know whether you can talk to other poeple about it without them feeling awkward or upset. If you get that out of the way its eaiser all round.

I've lost (and then regained) two strong friends by being the bad guy about pulling their heads out of their asses about death losses. Both friends lost lovers to AIDS at age 26 and 27, and both of them thought that it was the end of their lives. Neither of them had the disease themselves. I got them both involved with caring for elder people at assisted living facilities so that they could find out what it really is like being around non=relatives who are eighty years old or more, where daily activities are difficult. They both came out of the experience with a much more educated and realisitic grip on life and celebrating it. These elder people were sharp, experienced with life (and death) and not a bit maudlin about how life can change you on a daily basis. These were hard cases. Try it yourself if you need to. There are elders who are lonely everywhere on the planet. If you can read, or sing, or play the piano, go do it. Find out what life will be like if you stick around a while.