h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Now I am a newby and tis is probably vaguely good, i am sorry in advance!

My hair is frizzey
sometimes makes me dizzy
but not as much as disco lights
for they make me so im in a fight
for my life, or an aeoroplane flight
tis bright
or panoramic sight
which also confuzzles meeeeeee
for it impeeeeeeeeds
my seeeee
but now a difrent subject-eeee
for i hav run out of rhymes
for this swine
of a task
for i am watching the mask
and typing simletaneously
it was a choice of mine made spontaneously
for it is very funneeeee
but not an orange

St Clairsville

There is a town up north
To which I love to go forth
Over mountains o so high
Yet, they don't touch the sky
Where is the girl I loved?
The one I kissed and back she shoved
My heart aches for her tender kiss
And my head hopes her fist will miss
O, St Clairsville, town without myth
You are my plastic pal who's fun to be with
And wherefore shall I make amends
Hither, tither, and to all ends

Thank you!

This is a family favourite

Elegy for an unwashed sandwich box

My sandwich box is white and square
I take it with me everywhere.
I open it each day at noon
And eat my sandwich all too soon,
But when I stagger home at night
My sandwich box is out of sight,
So when I come to wash the crocks
I forget my sandwich box!

We walked through the meadow
Her hand in my hand
He came straight towards us
Oy! get off my land
I said, How'd you get it?
He said, Handed down
My ancestors Lorded
Two thirds of this town
I said, How'd they get it?
He said in a fight
They had to take over
With all of their might
So I took off my jacket
And made my stance steady
And said, Then I'll take it
Whenever you're ready

I yawned so wide,
I almost split my head.
Tis almost dawn,
And I'm writing on this thread.
Ive tried to sleep,
But just tossed on my bed.
Soon it will be time,
To make some toasted bread.

But will I have the marmalade?
Or will I have some jam?
Decisions come so hard,
When your as sleep starved as I am.
I think I'll wait a little while,
Cos I don't want to blow it!
These were late night thoughtlets
From me the phantom poet!

I wandered lonely as a clod,
and sat bewildered on a nail.
Shall i be always on my tod?
Or will i one day land in jail?

What did i do? I killed a slug,
who snaffled up my jelly tots.
But i ask you, without a shrug,
what use a hanky without snots?

I love you like a cyclist loves lycra,
Like the cafe was drawn to the lure of formica,
Restlessly I fiddle with my thoughts of Cassandra,
She's like Pluto's (the dwarf planet) 3rd moon Hydra.