h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I loved that paragraph.

There used to be a tv programme on pet keeping from New York City. The man who gave out the information insured that we would all stay tuned by putting his multitudinous pets on camera, including a chinchilla who was presonality plus and got along with all the other pets - cats, dogs, birds, rabbits, tortoises, etc.

So this entry brought back pleasant memories. hurrah for the feisty chinchilla.

I'm glad that bit remained in... I was worried it'd be 'cleansed' from the article as it went through the review process

Heh, heh. That just goes to show, you should always give it a try, anyway..

I useually try get one or two jokes or comments into a guide entry; unless its a really* serious type one on a nasty disease or something like that

No. Leave being funny about nasty diseases to Dr Ashman.

Actually, I normally leave it to my neurosurgin... : he did once tell me off for cracking a particulalry 'black' dark joke about my brain haemoridge... well I saw the funny side I don['t see why he shouldn't

If it's your brain hemorrhage, you are allowed to be as funny about it as you choose. So there.

My favourite was when my surgeon told me to take a shower when I had an open incision. I said, 'Are you sure?'

He replied solemnly, 'Trust me, I'm a doctor.'

Then we both cracked up.

"Trust me I'm a doctor", (which is a alternitive as far as I am aware to teh brilliant quote ; "back off man I'm a scientist", from Ghostbusters), Is one of my favoraite to use myself (well I'm sort of medically trained as I did all that* stuff at uni, but not actually training to be a doctor)... I use it all the time when I give out utterly unsage medical advice....

Normlaly it goes along the lines of :

My lodger "I've got this... blah blah blah... with my blah blah blah", "what do you think might be causing that?"

Me: "AIDS, or Cancer, or if your really unlucky Cancer AIDS", "Trust me I'm a doctor" (OK we've a weird sense of humour in this house....)

Actually one of the funniest things with a doctor/nurse... although a bit 'yucky' in detail was when I was really* very* ill... and well... had been up in bed in hospital for quite some time and had an infection that affected my ability to easily control when and where I ... passed various bodily fluids.....

Nurse... changes beddign in my hospital bed... me gets back into bed...

"nurse..... you do like, I mean you do enjoy changing sheets don't you?"

".... I can't relaly say what the nurse said but she understood why straight away I'd said what I did

I think I would avoid asking you for medical advice.

Although egging people on is a cottage industry where I come from, as well.

I once saw a good t-shirt - it had a tardis on it, and the legend "Trust me, I'm the Doctor"...

I do actually* give fairly decent medical advice a lot of the time... I diagnosed a friend just by hearing his symptoms; sadly he'd been misdiagnosed for thirty years; my diagnosis was too late he died in a year from his beating his doctors in to re-looking at this condition, and their finally agreeing with what it was (and waht I had said it was just by hearing his symptoms).
I very* nearly correctly diagnosed my lodger with having a hormonal problem (I said it sounded like Adrenaline, it turned out to be Thyroxin; I didn't have access to blood samples/analysis ); his doctors failed to diagnose this for two years; incorrectly did angioplasty on him and have insurted three stints into his heart that he didn't/doesn't need, that now can't be removed, If they'd come up with the same diagnosis as me, when I did he's have been spared two unecessary opperations, and soemthign he'll now have to live with for the rest of his life, visa ve their utter cock up of diagnosis and treatment. Again I only made the diagnosis by hearing a list of the patients symptoms; the doctors themselves had been doing a myriad of blood tests etc as well yet couldn't work it out Hmm... I suddenly see why I get so pissed off with incompetant people, they really are everywhere Too many stupid people in the world, and sometimes some of them end up in jobs where we'd really like to find quite clever people or at least people who had a vague notion of what their job was and some understanding of their subject area and friends die because of it... hey ho... tis a funny ole world...

I hear you. That happens way too often for comfort.

Too many people not paying attention...I'm sorry about your friend.

Somehow, when they misdiagnose your car, you're not so angry about it...

Well, he'd have died anyhow, but if they'd diagnosed it right all* those years before, he'd have had a much nicer time of the interveining years, with a lot less pain and disability, plus would maybe have lived on past when he did
I'm sure its not just me... but I've barely come across a tale of a major illness in my close family and friends which hasn't been screwed up at some level... Actually considering all my medical stuff I've had done I've escaped pretty lightly guess that is why I useually manage to maintain a pretty light and self-distructive fun outlook on life..... talking of which... its nearly pub time

Yes, think about something more cheerful.

As the song says: 'Hold to your glasses steady, this world is a web of lies...'