h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Moving house!
Well to sum it up in a few words " What a crock of *$%^"

Due to my incompetence I have by mistake actually got a job, I really wanted the summer off.
But due to my complete lack of advanced planning I actually passed the interview with flying colours.

Faced with not only the prospect of having to work 9-5 I now have the added hassle of moving house and city's.

Hears a few steps to help you do so.
1) Don't bother.
2) Really don't bother its a complete stress.
3) If you have to then, do so under the influence of strong sedatives.

Baring all this in mind pack all you're worldly belonging into a number of boxes
and take the plunge.

Rule one
When looking for a new house; do not look at any house above your budget. This will only make thing worse when you end up in the dark hole of a room you eventually get.

Rule Two
Don't select a house because the people seem nice. There not, there really freak's of nature, one of them will steal your food, another your toiletries and the rest will aggravate you just bye breathing.

Rule Three
Look for a one-room bedsit. Nice idea but you can’t afford it.
(See rule one)

Rule Four
Purchase a decent set of ear plugs as the house mates that aren't robbing you blind or winding you up will turn out to be Italian stallions, copulating to all times of the night. Their partner will also be the most vocal person you have ever had the misfortune to hear.

To sum up moving house can be one of the most terrifying experiences of your life, not only will you not know any one but you will also hate every one that you meet in the first few week.

My advice to you is decline the job and claim benefits where you already are don't even think about applying for a bloody job in the first place.