h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The phenomenon of sock-loss is frequently discussed with a logical western explanation in mind.

No doubt you are all aware of the concept of yin and yang, ie 'cosmic balance' This concept applies to all things, washing machines included. Consider this closely... we put clothes and washing powder in etc. We wash and then at the end the dirty water is taken away and we are left with clean clothes. Where is there any sort of balance there ?

Ok getting deeper, it is not essential that there be total balance, we can have an over-abundance of yin, and order is maintained with just a small amount of yang. This is the case with socks.

To counter-balance the overwhelming yang of a pile of clean washing, one sock (Yin) is removed unwashed from the cycle to maintain the cosmic status quo. How this is achieved is unknown, one of nature's mysteries no doubt.

However the opposite side of the coin is that, by retaining the odd sock in the hope of re-uniting the pair, leads to an abundance of odd socks in the home (Very Yin). To restore balance and to prevent your 'chi' from being affected, throw away the odd socks, thus symbolically re-uniting the pair (Yang) and removing the yin force from the home.

This is one of the many overlooked aspects of Feng-shui, and can be applied to many articles which are paired i.e ear rings etc. Anyone can develop their living space along simple tao principles, and spoil it all by retaining 'odd' items which stagnate the flow of chi.

Over the last few days I've had the time to sit down and think about the missing sock mystery. I have come up with some explanations.

I believe some never make it into the washer, and instead are huddled under furniture. Sentience of inanimate objects being taken for granted, I can imagine a trip through the washer and dryer can be a horrifying experenece.

My second theory involves the dryer. At times the combination of spinning, heat and static build up could create an energy vortex, that hurls them into another dimension.

But the one I favor is related to the first. The leave of thier own free will. Somewhere there is a planet, similar to the ball-point world, where socks go to be free of enslavement and torture us humans subject them to. It is a place where they can be free and live out an ideally sock life.

These thoughts are the result of exhaustive and meticulous reasearch and study of the sock loss phenomenon. And while I have yet to find any evidence supporting my theory, no vortexes, no refugee camps under the sofa or bed filled with dirty, terrified and down-trodden socks.

So I will stand by conclusion, but to be completley honest, a world full of dirty and unwashed socks, if it does exist, can and should be left to its self.