h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Fear not, Man Thing . . ..

I've got anything y'all need, darlin'. C'mere and let me show you how rum should be sipped--ever had belly button fuzz as a garnish? Goes down easier than an olive, trust me. {winks playfully at Greasy} Wanna try one, honey? Or maybe several?

I've had friction burns on my right knee from being on top.

I'll explain later.

I see everyone from GB's page is here...

Friction burns are a badge of honoour, Emily, wear them with pride

Maybe, but they look crap with short skirts. Particularly when you can't explain to your parents why they're there.

they look very nice in the fantasy about you I just had. lol

Sod off Andy.

It was on the left knee, actually; I've got trousers on, so I couldn't check.

ROFLMAO

*kiss*

I have never heard you be so vulgar, Emily, you are asking to be put over my knee young lady...

How is it that your mind works like that? No thank you...

Being nerly extremely pissed, the title for this made me crack-up with laughter (you try spelling laughter under such circomstances -takes a lot o' effort I can tell you). Why in the name of god would you keep limp noodles? Noodles ought to be at least al dente (or however the f*** you spell that).

Well, darlin', I'm the keeper of limp noodles because some stories and related conversations on my page were "deleted" some time ago, and finally I learned that the reason for that was that Yanka Wanka's proliferation of erect penises were what the editors found objectionable in those threads. I got a HUGE kick out of the fact that the earth guide prefers not to include e**** p****** (better not type it again or I might be in violation of the rules) so I scooted over to Galaxy Babe's keeper forum and requested that part of my title. At least now I always have something around to nibble on, in case I get too hungry

For the guy:
start in the missionary position, male on top.
put the females legs on your shoulders, if they cannot reach, put them wide and wrap your arms under the knees, and place your hands on the bed (or other surface).
lean forward, and straighten your legs, putting all the weight on your toes, your knees should be off the ground.
Thurst your pelvis forward, keeping your legs mainly straight. Your member should push straight down in, going very deep.
This can be a very difficult position for the man to maintain, because all weight is on the feet and hand, putting pressure on the legs and arms. Do not put muh pressure on your female partner because her back will be bent up off the bed and it could hurt her, also the angle will not be good that way.

To increase pleasure, press the woman's legs further together. This will increase tightness.

For the woman:
lay on your back, stretch your legs up as high as possible, rest on the man's shoulders if you can. Else, spread them wide so he can hold them with his arms to the side.
roll back onto your shoulders, so they are bearing the weight, your back will be bent and off the mattress.
Moan a lot, us guys like that.

Squeeze your legs together as necessary to increase pressure, and pleasure, of course.

This requires some limberness on the woman's part and strength on the man's part. For the woman, its very deep and a good angle for hitting the G spot. For the man, it can be very tight and each thrust is very sensual.

Sometimes when i want to be amused, i wonder what would happen if some little twelve year old smart nerd person who liked the hitchikers guid series came here, and we completely warped his fragile little mind.