h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well..... here in Holland there is another kind of Teletubbies called the Teringtubbies which translation would be Damntubbies. This show is a sort of Teletubbies but has more to do with tits emerging from a Teringtubby belly and wiping their asses with rabbits.

No, it is more likely that with the hyperactive and agile nature of his brows, they put them in the cast for 'Fame' or 'Grease'. Still, you don't actually need either 'ooh er' or 'ra ra'. Merely ensuring that your choice of phrase is subtle but easy enough to get the innuendo makes certain that, as well as having a laugh, all concerned also feel incredibly clever, as they got the subtle joke.

For example, 'He said he'd let it pass, if I gave him another pint. So I walked over to the bar, and asked the barmaid to start pulling it. Well, she was working her arm for quite sometime, befor she came up with a nice, thick, creamy head.' See how easy it is.

Oh, and I usually find that the phrase 'Hop on, baby' works wonders, to the extent that I am now sponsored by Durex...

"Oh err," well, maybe, again depending on inflection and tone. But "Ra Ra" conjures up memories of high school football games. What's sexy about that? (Oh, no... I'm sure I'll get some perverted replies on this one...)

Not from me you won't.

How did this conversation go from talking about mildly-suggestive words used to imply something naughty and fun at a time when there was still a social taboo on talking about sex openly, to the adventures of dressing up like a tellytubby just to get laid? (Never mind the bits about waving large amounts of cash about when soliciting on the right street corner...)

Amazingly, for all the so-called "liberation" of attitudes since the days when sex was best kept at home, under the covers and away from prying eyes, we're still so wound up about it.

I don't know where I was going with this any longer so I'll get off the line.

Fruitbat

No, not particularly. However, such phrases (and with them I include my personal favorite, "Your pants are like a mirror, I can see myself in them") are usually most useful while one or both of the parties involved are under the influence of alky, booze, canned heat, firewater, the hard stuff, hootch, liquor, moonshine, red-eye, rotgut, sauce, smoke, spirits, tipple, or toddy, although Acapulco gold, bhang, cannabis, Columbian doobie, dope, gaja, hash, hashish, loco weed, maryjane, Maui wowie, Panama red, reefer, roach, sinsmeilla, weed, grass and pot are quite effective as well. Not that I'd know.

i'm not wound up ABOUT sex. i'm wound up BEFORE sex. a large key has to be inserted into my r*ctum and turned five and a half times before i can even contemplate sex. i know that this directly contradicts another Guide entry i have written, but, as no-one ever reads them, i figure that it will go unnoticed. FECK(school guard system - censorship is necessary.)

Yours etc, Doc Savage, Man of Bronze.

Well, Necromancer of Forgotten Threads, is this one forgotten enough for you? I can't imagine why it died. I mean, it's about sex! What got us all bored?

~Irving

I just wanted to be at the bottom of the list really, but seriously anything can get you laid if you say it right. Raising your eyebrow and saying "My watercraft will eat no figs, you know what I mean" might get you laid if you are in the right company.

Lucas

Whatever floats your boat, man.

Alternatively, you could just say 'I'm a big fan of cats. I like to stroke and tickle a pussy every night.'

And if you really felt like it you could say "Hey you over there, wanna f*ck?"


Lucas

Rather blunt and to the point, but hey; if it works, it works.

Necro.

Well, there's actually a guide article (either approved or still being compiled) of "Chat up" or "Pick up" lines somewhere. Of course, some people can make something dirty just by raising one or both eyebrows. I've seen this done to completely innocent phrases often

~Irving

Chat-up lines are useless. Everyone knows when someone's using a chat-up line, it's that d@mned obvious. Depending on how good it is, I'll see about making it an Approved Entry (I've just been made a Sub-Ed!!!)

Necr

Congrats!

~Irving

Cheers. I still haven't got my wonderful rosette or anything though *fumes with the utter tardiness of it all*

Necr

A winks as good as a nudge to a blind man, eh, SAY NO MORE.



Lucas

Actually, I would hazard that a blind man would be rather annoyed if people went around gratuitously nudging him.

Necr

[male] }If you use psychic powers, you needn't have eyes.{

Psychic powers? We're not Ol' Janx Spirit drinkers...

Necr

[male] }So? Doesn't Ol' Janx Spirit *supress* psychic powers?{