h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The tiresome bumberstickers that began with "I (heart symbol) NY" were copied widely to proclaim the drivers love of whatever else set his/hir heart a-pumpin' and finally degraded to a series which emblazoned the picture of the head of whatever breed of dog the driver vented his or her thwarted parental instincts upon preceded with the "I (heart symbol) My..." The finest parody of this overly softheaded sentiment I ever saw was on the back of a car at the Kerrville Songwriters' Festival where a sticker said "I Heart My Doghead". Took me a minute to get it - then I loved it. Another popular USA sticker is the call letters of the driver's preferred radio station (I keep wondering why I would be presumed to want to know). And then there are all the NRA bumper stickers with sentiments intended to annoy their opponents to the max, such as "When Guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns" but which tend to reinforce the impression that they are deficient in intellect first created by their erratic driving ere one even approaches close enough to read the text.

I seem to remember a comedian (Gallager?) making fun of the heart stickers, saying that the other card suites should be used, too. The only one I recall is 'I (spade) my dog'. Cracked me up... (Naturally, much funnier with his delivery )

The same comedian brought up another bumper sticker that is offensive but worth mentioning. "I club my wife"

Regarding replacing the heart symbol with something else:

There is a catalog called "Gifts You Wouldn't Give Your Mother" which sells stickers shaped like screws. The idea is to go around covering the hearts with the screws. Imagine! "I (screw) my German Shepherd", etc.

Could cause some real trouble with the religious folk.....