h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Trust me, I lost two stone and 10" round the waist since March last year. I've just had my body fat percentage measured at 15.2% and my body mass index is 25.2 - which means according to the charts you see everywhere I'm officially overweight, even though my body fat is in the lower third of the target band, which shows how accurate those height-weight charts are.

I started this http://www.h2g2.com/A496794 before the new year's resolutions stuff set in, but here's what I have to say on "the subject on the card."

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One frightening piece of research shows that 79% of women thought that their social lives would improve if they were as thin as Calista Flockhart (star of Ally McBeal). Calista Flockhart is 5'6" tall and weighs just 100lb (20% less than the minimum recommended weight for a woman her age and height). She's a size 2. And her co-stars on the show are all competing to match her in thinnness - peer pressure at work, even amongst intelligent and highly-paid people.

The average model is at least 5'9" tall and generally between 10lb and 25lb below the minimum recommended weight for their age and height. Exceptions such as Cindy Crawford are rare enough to be noticeable.

Every newsagent has racks of magazines showing men with washboard abs, when the reality is that most men are more polypin than six-pack. And in truth the classic six-pack is extraordinarily difficult to achieve. Even very fit men often do not achieve this, because it demands a very low body fat percentage which can only be achieved by focusing on very little else. In other words, if you see a guy with an honest-to-goodness six pack the chances are he's as obsessive as any anorexic teenage girl.

The first step is to know what's normal. More to the point, it's worth knowing that weight alone is a poor indicator. Luckily these days it is fairly easy to get a body fat measurement - most fitness clubs and gyms will do this for you, it takes a few minutes, and it gives you a fairly accurate reading of your body fat percentage. Men should achieve between 12% and 20%, women somewhere closer to 18% to 25% (lucky things). Your weight should probably be not less than 5% below the recommended weight for your age and height, and not more than 5% above - but be prepared to adjust this if (be honest, now!) you are genuinely big-boned, very fit (muscle is considerably denser than fat), or maybe you are petite or have a fast metabolism.

So, how do you actually change your shape?

It's like the old joke about how many psychiatrists it takes to change a lightbulb. You have to want to change. If you are below the weight band but feel you are too fat, please stop reading this forum now and seek professional advice. I have seen anorexia at first hand, and it is distressing. If on the other hand you're a gym rat and want to get bigger still, well keep off the steroids and get a personal trainer. This is for the rest of us.

The normal solution is through one or both of the following:

Diet
====

A great philosopher once said: Diet is just "die" with a "t" on it (it was Garfield). But, hey, these days diet is much more fun than it was in the carrot juice and three lettuce leaves days. If you want to lose weight, many people swear by the Montignac food combining system, whereby certain food groups may not be combined in a single meal. Although recent research shows that this may actually be less effective than the old fashioned EH system (where you Eat Half the normal quantity), it has the very definite plus of being interesting. Even if it's only half as effective, the fact that it's easy to stick to without monotony makes it a strong contender.

One other diet which can produce dramatic effects fairly quickly (and sustainably) is to focus on fat reduction. Stop using butter, margarine, drink black tea and coffee, have toast instead of cereal with milk, reduce dairy product intake. Don't overdo it, a certain amount of fat in the diet is essential, but so many modern foods have added fat that cutting out the fat which you add can have an immediate and positive effect.

Current thinking indicates that five or six light meals spread over the day is better than the traditional three square meals of old. This is not an excuse for grazing (you can kiss your waistline goodbye if you sit on the sofa eating Pringles and watching the telly of an evening), but it is a good idea to have some healthy snacks to prevent the body kicking in its built-in emergency systems. One reason so many weight-loss diets fail is that the body responds to reduced food intake by slowing down the metabolism - the "famine response" - which works against you, especially as this also means that the food you eat may be laid down as fat as a buffer against the perceived famine conditions. Which also probably wasn't quite what you had in mind. So break out the crudités, dip them in houmous instead of Sainsbury's rather nice thousand-island dip, and enjoy.

Exercise
========

Oh my. Is this a thorny subject. Every year in January millions of people take themselves to the gyms and health clubs of the world as a new year's resolution. And between five and six weeks later most of them have stopped going. Why? Because exercise is, of itself, boring. So the secret of a successful exercise programme lies not in the exercises themselves, but the combination, duration and environment.

There are two main sorts of exercise, resistance and cardiovascular, and both suffer from exactly the same problem: just as you're hitting a rut and getting bored with them, the effect hits a plateau and you stop making progress. There is a way round it, but you have to have a good gym. The secret of a successful exercise programme is as follows:

* Commitment. You have to mean it.
* Goals. Use the SMART technique (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timed). So, set yourself a target of two pounds lost per week for one month, or whatever.
* Variety. You have no idea how boring it is running towards a mirror image of yourself. So ask the trainers in the club for suggestions - two minutes running at 7mph on the flat, one minute at 6mph on a 5% incline, repeated four times, for example. You are paying for their expertise; use it!
* Regular re-assessments. When you join most clubs they'll assess you. You can generally get a re-assessment any time just by asking, and they'll help you work out a new programme with new challenges and different exercises. If they don't, you're at the wrong place. Find a better gym.
* JUST DO IT! You have to go, and keep going. Three or four times a week. Sounds like a lot? Well, it might be - but it's the same amount of time you probably spend keeping up with soap operas, and it's much better for you.

There are other things, such as buying really comfortable shoes (one shop locally has a machine which takes an imprint of your foot as you run) and enrolling in classes. Misery loves company, and you can't beat a good old-fashioned circuit for burning the calories.

So, to the two main forms of exercise:

Resistance training
===================

Resistance training is weight-lifting dressed up. It does good things for your self image (especially if you're a bloke) and it makes you more able to carry out everyday tasks, because you're that bit stronger.

Much more importantly, resistance training builds bone density and thus helps combat osteoporosis. If you're a woman or a man with prematurely grey hair (guilty as charged, m'lud) you should be doing at least some resistance training for the sake of your long-term health.

What else does it do for you? If you are underweight, it helps you gain weight in a healthy way. And since muscle weighs more than fat it's more productive too. If you weight train you are less likely to injure yourself moving things around the house (unless, of course, you decide to pick up loaded wardrobes using your new-found strength) and it gives your partner a kick as they explore each new muscle.

The downside is, there are a lot of people who weight train seriously with the aid of drugs, most often steroids. These destroy your heart; Arnold Schwarzenegger has had open-heart surgery. He also illustrates the other downside - loss of flexibility. Be very careful to maintain full joint movement in your programme. Arnie reputedly can't tie his own tie anymore. But then, he can afford a man to do that for him. You might not get so rich.

Cardiovascular (CV) training
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This is the heading under which sweaty out-of-breath type exercises are grouped. Typical CV exercises include running (usually on treadmills), stair-climbers, rowing machines, cross-trainers and the like. Here's where you'll lose that tummy. You can do abdominal exercises (sit-ups, for those of us aged over 30) for the rest of your life and never achieve a flat stomach; fifteen minutes on the cross-trainer three times a week and you won't recognise yourself.

The common thread with CV exercises is that you burn energy, usually by using the legs (these are the easiest muscles to work, so a soft target for any serious calorie burning).

WARNING: If you are significantly overweight, or very unfit, and you set out to run a marathon on the treadmill, you might just end up in a wooden overcoat. Seriously. The use of a heart-rate monitor (available from about £30) is very strongly recommended.

Mixed Training
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If you really want to lose weight and get fit, go to the gym for at least an hour every other day and spend every second when you're not CV training, on the resistance machines at low weight. Do twenty repetitions at something you can lift reasonably comfortably then RUN to the next machine and do the same there. Your heart rate will stay in the weight-loss zone for the whole hour!

Or, join a circuit training class. This is great - misery loves company.

Guy - you make my entry look feeble. http://www.h2g2.com/A481754 Just like my weight reduction attempts.

I just want to give up right now.

If I lost weight, I'd probably have more energy. But I don't have the energy to.

You've forgotten two important things about exercise.

1. It must be fun. As you point out, people often stop going to the gym because it's boring. I know, I've tried it. Pumping weights bores the pants off me. Anything that burns calories is exercise. Try line-dancing, go for a walk with a friend in your lunch break, or go on your own with a personal stereo. These work for me, so why not try them.

2. There's no point joining a gym to do circuits (or whatever) if the gym is some distance away. If you have to go out of your way to get there, eventually you'll stop going. If you have room, and intend to keep up the exercises, buy your own equipment. You can even get scales that will measure body fat, so you don't need a gym for this. Alternatively, find a form of exercise that can easily be built into your daily routine.

Well done that ex-Fat B*****d! I completely agree with your contribution.

At the ripe old age of 43, I have battled to keep my weight in check since the tender age of 14. Whilst most of my peers were happily munching on doughnuts, chips and confectionary, I ate salads and sulked as I only had to look at a calorie-laden temptation to put on weight!

However, it wasn't until my late 20's set in, that things really became difficult and I resolved to improve my strength and fitness by weight training. Fortunately, a professional body builder who ran a local gym "took me under his wing". Around this time, I also started to run, swim regularly and participate in an aerobics class as well as maintaining my regular practice of Yoga (accompanied by gardening and much doggie walking).

I had also become a vegetarian in my mid-twenties and by the time I started to work out regularly, was a vegan (strict vegetarian - no dairy products or eggs).

Much to my delight, my weight remained constant, I could eat like a horse, felt fantastically healthy and was one of the fasted lady runners in my running club. At 30, I gave birth to my daughter, who is now 13 and a life-long and disgustingly healthy vegan.

By coincidence, in my early 30's I found that my constant struggle to maintain my weight at a healthy level was due to an autoimmune thyroid deficiency and now have to take thyroxin to stabilise my metabolism.

I recently had to stop running due to arthritis in my knees, but still weight train and practice Yoga regularly. Once again, I have to watch what I eat without counting calories and manage to maintain a weight of 9½ stones at a height of 5'6½" by working out and just not consuming fat-laden food products or alcohol. I also walk instead of drive when ever possible (a regular occurrence as I have three lively dogs to exercise ), which is also better for the environment.

To summarise, in order to maintain a healthy weight one must watch what one eats (do not starve yourself as this only leads to rapid weight gain once you start to eat normally or binge and it could damage vital organs or lead to osteoporosis). Eat healthily, regularly, moderately, include lots of fruit and veggies (with meat/fish if you must! ) and take plenty of exercise, although moderately if you're unaccustomed to it or are ill in any way. I have been forced to moderate my exercise regime due to advancing age and to accommodate family life, but still enjoy a good work out and a healthy diet.

No, no, no! Don't give up! There's a guy called Steve at my gym who will routinely do half an hour on the VersaClimber. I can manage about six minutes. However fit you are there are intimidating people, but you just have to look at them and think "I could be like that, but I'm happy to get halfway there for half the effort"

Better to look at the fatties around you and think "hey, I'm thinner then her - and him - and I can run for the bus without dying now."

And anyway, you CAN do it - if you want to. I was *very* unfit and considerably overweight.

Excellent, I'm really pleased that I'm not the only one who finds going to the gym an enhancement of daily life rather than a chore to be endured. I have to be careful on the treadmills because with my weight (over 13st) my knees suffer, but that's as nothing compared to the problem of arthritis of course. Do you take aspirin for it? Just curious.

*Parks her Zimmer frame*

My GP prescribed Ibuprofen for my knees, but I seldom use it as he says that it can cause stomach ulcers if taken over a lengthy period and instead I resort to CoProxamol when the pain gets bad. A few hours of rest usually helps plus I've been working on my quads (lots of light leg extensions) as recommended by my GP, accompanied by lots of gentle stretching to strengthen the surrounding muscles. I've had to drop my weights for squats but have increased the reps accordingly. The cold, damp winter months are proving rather painful, so I'm looking forward to the (hopefully) warmer and slightly drier summer!

*Spies a flying pig in the distance*

Oink, flap, oink, flap.

Brufen is bad for the stomach lining (gave one friend ulcerative colitis), but I'm told soluble aspirin is a real wonder drug (also effective against certain forms of heart disease, apparently).

Aspirin can also be bad for people with stomach ulcers. The safest pain-killer is paracetamol, the only real danger being from overdose.

True, but soluble aspirin carries a much lower risk of stomach ulcers.

I'll just stick to CoProxamol and keep an excuse to put me plates of meat up!

Actually, I'm seriously considering trying a homoeopathic remedy that seemed to work wonders on a friend's cat... I've used homoeopathic remedies regularly before in the past and at least they don't have any nasty side-effects.

*Wanders off to tackle a huge pile of mashed banana and peanut butter sandwiches*

This made me laugh: [URL removed by moderator]

No offence

Guy - do you mind if I link to your entry from ours?

No problem

No offence taken! Actually, I found the comic strip rather amusing (probably because I'm not into crystals etc...).

Actually Dilbert isn't a comic strip, it's a documentary about my life (they leave out my wife & children for simplicity).

Hi, JZG, your advice is really good. One thing I'd like to add: drink water! I drink about two liters of water between meals - fortunately our tap water is quite clean. If yours isn't, put pressure on the authorities to remedy the situation, get a water purifier, or drink bottled water. But clean water is very helpful for cleaning out the system, and having a clean body helps you to digest and process food more efficiently and this will help you stay lean.

I just love weight training. I change my program a bit every now and then to keep from getting bored. I stick to the really productive exercises - for me they are deadlifts, squats, chinups/pulldowns, dips/bench presses, overhead presses, rows, calf and abdominal exercises. I don't have any fixed program, I vary the order of the exercises and the kinds of splits I use. I usually do high reps - ten to twenty and sometimes up to fifty. I don't use the circuit style, I do straight sets but I usually reduce the weight after every set because I get exhausted and I still have to keep the reps high. On every set I push until I can't do another rep. I use a slow and smooth cadence and full reps because I want to stay flexible and I sure as heck don't want to injure myself. This style of training is between anaerobic and aerobic, it builds strength as well as endurance and for me it's the quickest way to do what I want to do - if I had to alternate strength days with endurance days I'd either have to go six days a week or I'd get too little work done for either.

An hour a day, three days a week of this works very well for me. It keeps me in good enough condition to go climbing high mountains every few months or so, and it helps me to find the experience enjoyable rather than torture.

By the way, here in Africa many people are lean and many males have washboard abs, even middle-aged guys. The reason: we don't eat so much and we often do lots of hard physical work as part of our jobs.

Think of all the poor people in the world who don't have enough good food to eat. Don't make a pig of yourself, and when you eat, eat good food, and really be thankful for it!

I'll just repeat my comments here on your article JZG, so that they finds their way to the right place. Besides, I forgot something I wanted to say.

Firstly: it's a great article! That's the most important bit

Secondly: Many people might find the gym too expensive; or too daunting to exercise in spandex in front of mirrors with a bunch of scantily clad thin people watching them, although it does have the advantage of trained personnel nearby if you need help, and to monitor you. The important thing, imho is that exercise should be whatever you enjoy doing. If that's the gym, great! If not, try bike riding, swimming, etc etc, whatever works off that fat, and you enjoy.

Thirdly (this is the new bit) I notice you want to restrict dairy products, and I can see why you're saying this, but anyone doing this should make sure that they make sure they make up the calcium intake somewhere else. After all, weight training isn't the only way to prevent osteoporosis! How about suggesting low-fat dairy products?

, or

Starting with a heavy weight and proceeding to fatigue, then dropping the weight and doing the same again, is excellent technique. It's known as a "drop set" in my gym.

You're right, I forgot the water. At least 2l per day, I drink maybe 4-5l.

How's that diet going?