h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have an old (B-reg) Audi 80 sport - 1.8i - Its been standing for a month outside. I have a brand new bosch battery. Any ideas on how to get the old girl going?

That would probably depend on why it's not starting. Or what it's doing when you try to start it I should say.

fair point. it turns over. fuel is not catching. I spose I ought to replace the plugs and leads first. however, unburnt fuel does catch in the exhaust system, making for some nice pops and bags while the engine's turning.

1st you might try giving it a rest, it must be tired of standing for so long. Anyway, I wouldn't bother with the plugs and wires quite yet. But with such little information it's hard to diagnos this. If the gas is good and the spark is good it should at the least run poorly. Although not widely accepted, try starting fluid, not to much though or it will prove to be a very nasty thing to do to an engine that's already been standing for a hole month. Just a little shot in the intake should get it going.

I thought this starting fluid was for carbs? its an injection...... I want to just sit there and keep turning the key..... but am scared of the battery running low. Should I keep another car running with leads to the battery just to make sure the battery doesn't run down? Spent some time cleaning the plugs, inside distributor cap, rotor arm.....still didn't go.....

Have you tried to bump start it?