h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I go to a boy's school, and we seem to have invented an alternative version of the game - Whore, Bitch, Wench; just follow the same rules but substitute these words for Zip, Zap and Boing respectively.

In primary school we uses to play a simpler version 'Vroom Eeeek!'. The Vroom passed it on to the next person in a predetermined direction. Eeeeking was meant to emulate the brakes of a car and sent the trail back the other way. The object appeared to be standing somewhere you wouldn't get a go, so you could then whinge about it until you got (a) bored or (b) hit.

Zip Zap Boing Baloing:

Important 4th rule:

So, you've just Zapped someone, only to be Boinged straight back at ya. Take the bull by the horns and Baloing you Boinger:

Throw both hands up in air, palms facing outwards, and yell Baloing.
This means that you and the person you are Baloinging (dubious conjugation for dubious verb ) have to swap places by passing through the middle of the circle, moving in a feet together bouncing jumping motion (subject to elaboration), and saying Baloing Baloing Baloing... in accompaniment to each bounce.

Important Bit: The pulse must be continued by the person who was Baloinged. It is very easy to get carried away after your no doubt giggling traverse of the circle, and get completely confused as to who baloinged whom, so be careful.

Second Important Bit: Just as one may only Boing a Zap, one may only Baloing a Boing.

As I am sure you will agree, this wonderfully ridiculous variant can severely speed up the "gelling" of a group.

When I was at school we had a simmilar game called farmers.

The person starting would say 'a game of farmers to my right,' (or left), 'oo-arr!' (using his best west-country accent). The directing named etermined the direction of play.

Each person in turn then (also in best attempt at a West-Country accent) would have one of four options:

1) Oo-arr! - play continues,
2) Cowpat! - Everybody has to repeat cowpat whilst patting their head,
3) Oinker! - Direction of play is reversed
4) Proper Job! - play continues, but the next person is missed.

If someone says something when it is not their turn (such as being missed by a 'proper job' they are out. If someone hesitates when it's their turn, or does not join in on 'cowpat', they are out.

Play continues until only one person is left.

Advanced theory includes such dastardly tactic as saying 'oinker' but looking at the person in the direction that play was going in, in the hope of catching them out.

Bez

Ahh - vogon poet - so we meet again....

(Where are you btw? Eastern Europe?)

As I was going to say - the game has been evolving up in Scotland - there are now modifications for larger groups (we've had 30 so far!)

When you get it wrong, instead of going out or being laughed at (which are both cruel) you drop to your knees (and are laughed at) - you now wait for others to get it wrong, and also drop, and then a second game continues at a lower level! If you get it wrong here you go back up to the 'top' game.

Hours of good clean fun for all your seasonal festivals...