h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I post here some ongoing research notes from our ass ass field ass Villig: http://www.h2g2.com/A463556

The real issue here is how to tame and train humans. It's much more difficult and frustrating than training us "pets"

1. The dog probably tamed the hunting/gathering humans first. By providing an ealy warning system on the fringes of human campsites, they taught humans to feed them leftovers. And that tail-wagging thing was a brilliant ruse to make humans think they were important for the dogs. As long as humans feel god-like towards their "pets" they behave faithfully.

2. Thereafter the cat tamed agrarian humans a million or so years later. But we cats were better tamers than dogs ... we let humans think they were in control right from the start. All we had to do was to slink around those leaky granneries where all the birds and rodents were feeding, and show those stupid apes how to deal with pest control. The rest was easy P-R-R-R-R-R-R-R.

3. I haven't a clue how fish and birds managed to tame humans, but they did. Perhaps I can get field ass Melvin, HTTP://www.h2g2.com/A463448, ass field ass Felicia HTTP://www.h2g2.com/A463547 or Our Management Team HTTP://www.h2g2.com/A463565, to answer that one.