h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We moved overseas a few years ago and had a firm of dilligent removal men (and women, possibly, I can't honestly remember) to carefuly pack all our worldly goods for protection against damage during the journey.

All was going well until one of the guys opened THE DRAWER. The pained expression and mournful sigh were those of a man who had endured having to pack the contents of THE DRAWER every day of his working life for the past 30 years.

I watched amazed as he dutifully proceeded to wrap every dead battery, empty 35mm film canister and part used birthday candle in pristine, off-white, virgin wrapping paper.

Eventually my concern for his sanity, and the rainforests galvanised me in to action. I took THE DRAWER from him and emptied the contents into the wheelie bin.

He was so grateful that he made ME a cup of tea.

I've moved so many times that I, too, ignore the drawer.

In fact, I now start with a small thermonuclear device before moving.

princebatswater, you are surely the chosen one spoken off with such respect by removal men the world over ... the stuff of legend. I applaud your courage in taking such a bold step. Mind you, I'd hate to think of a stranger poking through my drawer so perhaps your action was the lesser of two evils.


...A thermonuclear device you say FT - where can I get one of those, I've fallen rather behind with the housework and it certainly seems like a quick fix.

TOP DRAWER MAN. Fighting the evil of horders and people who are too indecisive or just too lazy to throw things out. (I'm looking at you, can't-get-rid-of-used-paper-bag-just-in-case-it-comes-in-handy lady)

Yes, with my mighty consumer-driven throw-away society powers and freshly emptied wheelie bin, GASP as I spend my Wednesday mornings ridding the nation of valuable landfill airspace.

POW! Take that, dried-up felt-tip. BIFF! don't mess with me, 12 year old mobile phone charger.

Oh my goodness .... *runs around house closing drawers and hiding important stuff* - I can see where you'd be an assett but I need my stuff to feel complete.

Don't panic too much. Wardrobe-girl has feng-shuied my superhero suit to Lifeline.