h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Or Paddy's Day as it is universally and derisorily known, takes place on 17th March each year. Supposedly an opportunity to celebrate the life and times of that great Breton/Welsh/English (delete where applicable), but definitely not Irish, Saint. Traditional Saint Patrick's Day celebrations run something along the lines of this: (i)Get up, (ii)start drinking, (iii)wake up on March 18th or 19th, depending on the severity of (ii) above. Up until recently the very best place to celebrate St Patricks Day was anywhere except Ireland, because then you had at least a chance of getting caught up in the fun of the thing without the problems of encountering any people with bags of chips on their shoulders about the state of Ireland, the government and the fact that although our football team contains several gifted individuals as a whole they are incapable of even passing wind. But all this has changed.
A newfound pride in our national heritage (loosely translated as a ready availability of cash) has meant that the Irish government has recently transformed the St Patricks Day celebrations in Ireland into a thing of wonder and beauty. Whereas previously the Parade consisted largely of embarassingly overweight Americans slowly ambling the length of O'Connell Street preceeded by cardboard floats advertising local city centre shops we now have an entire festival. And the festival lasts a week. And it's actually very good. In Dublin there's free concerts, street theatre, and childrens events all of which culminate in a decent parade and an even more decent pyrotechnic display.
As regards to what you should wear, well green is a must, but most people settle for a little bit of shamrock pinned to their lapels, which looks quite dapper early in the morning but by 11.00 that night has a tendency to resemble a little bit of garnish that has fallen from your meticulously prepared post-pub kebab.
There is no particular food that should be consumed on account of the fact that there's both eating and drinking in Guinness, which is enough to sustain any body. If you're celebrating Paddy's Day anywhere but in Ireland don't be fooled into thinking that it's cute to consume food that's coloured green when it normally wouldn't be. We don't go in for that sort of thing in Ireland because green beer looks revolting, as does green mash and most other things.
Finally it is traditional to end the evening with a burst of rebel songs that nobody can ever remember the full words for, but can deliver the vague tune with a teary eye and an uplifted heart.

South Boston Massachusetts is the best place to celebrate St. Paddy's day in (IMO). It is a requirment to wear anything green and to have a button that say's "Kiss me I'm Irish" wheather you are or not. Be sure to wear comfortable shoe, because you will be standing for most of the day.
At around 12:00 p.m. the parade begins. Almost anyone can be in the parade as long as your not gay, if you are you will not be allowed to march. At around 3:00 p.m. the parade is over and everyone goes to someones house to stuff themselves with corned beef and cabbage.
After you have stuffed yourself it's off to the nearest bar to drink yourself stupid, by around 10:00 p.m. you have been kissed by countless strangers and are begining to forget what your name is but continue drinking anyway. When the bars close everyone is let lose on to the street to try and remember where they live or at least find someone elses home.
The day after is usually spent hunched over you toilet wondering why you did this to yourself, and swearing you will NEVER do it again. (Until next year that is).

I think everything I can say in this was alrady included in the St. Patricks Day article on the guide.

http://www.h2g2.com/A273700

For reference.

Two words: Green Beer

Pseudo American Commercailsim you show me a real Irishman who drinks green black stuff on 17th March and I'll shoot myself.

::looks everywhere for a man who fits DD's description::

Just kidding, DD, you know you are-- errr.... loved...

By the way, they DO serve green beer in these United States!!!

I'm entitled to my own memories and opinions about national holidays!!! ::sniffles::

::sings:; OI'm Lerking over a four-leahf clover, thet OI've overlerked before!!!

Yeah and it is starting to creep into Dublin to keep the tourists happy which is the sad thing.

Ewwww!!! Damn Americans... we have developed some ridiculously stupid things(like Jerry Springer). Melting Pot, schmelting pot!!!

...You've gotta love the tourists, and if you don't, well, don't order a green beer(OH!! And don't drink the grape-vanilla slerpees at The 24Seven store-- http://www.h2g2.com/A401239. Mine gave me a horrible slerpee headache, and I had to be rushed to the General Hospital-- http://www.h2g2.com/A423839)!!!!

Obviously it just wasn't ripe yet...

Could be... I'm all right now, though!!!

Back to Saint Patrick...

Is this just a New York thing, or do people elsewhere eat copious amounts of Corned Beef and Cabbage on St. Patty's Day? It's such a tradition around here, that if St. Patty's falls on a Friday during Lent, the Cardinal and/or Bishop usually gives a dispensation to Irish Catholics that allow them to indulge in meat-eating so they can partake in this traditional activity (you can drink as much green beer during Lent as you want, however - no dispensation needed).

I'm personally repulsed by the stuff, but hey, whatever floats yer shamrock!

My family in Colorado is into the Corned Beef and Cabbage thing..

If I remember right I did mention the obssesion with corned beef and cabbage on st. patty's day. I don't eat the stuff but other people think it's the greatest thing to ever be invented. BTW green beer is so wrong.

If you think green beer on St. Patty's day is wrong, ever try the "traditional" green bagel? I think that's taking cross-culturalism to a rather disgusting extreme.

And how about McDonald's "Shamrock Shake?" There's a touch of green for you!

Some things just shouldn't be forced into unnatural green-ness!

Shamrock Shakes are YUMMMY!!!

When I was younger virtually every child I knew gave up sweets for Lent. This being Ireland, of course, Lent doesn't include St Patrick's Day, so we all got to stuff our faces without fear of reprisals from any sort of supreme being (apart from maybe the tooth fairy).