h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It is well known in the food service industry that any line cook trained by Waffle House is going to be an asset. To have been in a full one, with every waitress rattling (official term!) orders from both sides of the line, is to wonder how in the world they always manage to get every order perfect, every time.

The training is intensive, and the novice cook has only a week to perfect all of the off-line technique he/she can muster prior to live line work. The first shift is always afternoon, since it is anticipated to be the slow one. The novice graduates to mornings, since locals and regulars are patient when notified by the waitress that "they are in week two."

Evenings are the epiphany, peopled as they are by the requisite late night prowlers and drowsers. The decibel level in a packed-to-capacity Waffle House filled with revelers, accompanied by the strains of the required repertoire of Tammy Wynette songs, (esp. "Stand By Your Man") can be deafening. The waitresses must rattle louder than the patrons, and every order must still be perfect.

Why don't they write down the orders? Written orders cause confusion, since no two people write the same. To take one's concentration from the line to interpret or refer to a written order would completely destroy the rhythm. And most important, the ability to read and write is not required of those who would train in this most demanding profession.

Lest you think that this is despicable, or beneath you, there are perks. It can be a lifetime occupation, and moving location within the corporation is an easy thing. If you ever leave, you get first consideration when re-applying for the position, unless you have committed a seriously grievous on-duty, work-related offence. And they are amply compensated for this oftimes hellish work.

All in all, a bit more than meets the eye when you pull up to those familiar yellow boxes.